启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2017年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语一真题备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
As shown in the first cartoon, there is a man lying beside a wall, on which there are many books. And he says, "What many books I have!" Meanwhile, another cartoon shows the man sits near a table and says. "I try to read 20 books this year." Beneath the cartoons writes, ""Have Books" and "Read Books"". Obviously, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is taking action that exerts a great influence in our personal life.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, it makes no sense if we just shout for dream while doing nothing. What actually points into success is putting it into practice. On top of that, the difference between "Have Books" and "Read Books" is whether it may influence our deep mind. Having books shows wealth but reading books shows wealth of mind.
In brief, taking action is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspiration and make our world shine with renewed brillance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:"What many books I have!"
批改:"What a lot of books I have!" 或 "How many books I have!" 更地道
批改:says 后面的句号应为逗号,因为引语是句子的一部分
原文:Beneath the cartoons writes,
批改:可以优化为 Beneath the cartoons is the caption: "..." 或 The caption beneath the cartoons reads: "..."。
原文:As shown in the first cartoon, there is a man lying beside a wall, on which there are many books. And he says, "What many books I have!" Meanwhile, another cartoon shows the man sits near a table and says. "I try to read 20 books this year." Beneath the cartoons writes, ""Have Books" and "Read Books"". Obviously, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is taking action that exerts a great influence in our personal life.
批改:本段基本完成了描述图画和揭示寓意的任务,结构清晰。但在细节上需要多多注意。
批改:逗号
原文:shout for dream
批改:地道的表达是 shout about our dreams 或 talk about our dreams
原文:at actually points into success
批改:更地道的搭配应为 leads to success 或 paves the way to success。What actually leads to success is putting dreams into action
原文:is whether it may influence our deep mind. Having books shows wealth but reading books shows wealth of mind
批改:“whether it may influence our deep mind” 可改为 “whether it can enrich our inner world”(“enrich our inner world” 比 “influence our deep mind” 更地道,贴合 “读书滋养心灵” 的主题);“wealth of mind” 表达稍显中式,改为 “spiritual wealth”(考研高频表达 “精神财富”)
批改:本段从两个层面进行论述,思路清晰。然而,本段在语言表达上出现了多处搭配不当、用词不准确和指代不明的情况,这使得论证的说服力大打折扣,论证上也可以再充实一点,增加一些细节。
原文:brillance
批改:brillance 拼写错误,应为 brilliance
批改:该段对图画寓意进行总结并给出评论,完成了 “给出评论” 的核心任务,逻辑完整、收尾简洁,但依旧存在细节错误。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20 分
本文采用 “图画描述 - 寓意阐释 - 总结评论” 的经典三段式结构,逻辑框架严谨,主旨提炼准确,紧扣 “拥有与行动” 的核心主题。在图画描述部分,精准捕捉两幅图画的对比关系,清晰呈现图画文字信息;在寓意阐释部分,通过 “空谈与实干” 的对比深入分析主题,关联 “书籍” 与 “精神成长” 的内涵;在总结评论部分,明确倡导 “付诸行动” 的观点,收尾完整。但文章的核心扣分点集中在细节错误和语言表达上:一是基础错误需警惕,包括语法错误、标点使用不规范、拼写错误(如 “brilliance”)等,影响语言的准确性;二是语言表达的地道性和针对性有待提升,部分表达略显中式或指代模糊;三是论证和评论稍显笼统,细节支撑不足,影响文章的说服力和深度。总体而言,文章的结构和主旨符合考研高分作文的框架,但细节错误和语言表达的规范性、针对性是提升分数的关键,问题改正后可提升2-3分。
三、参考范文
As vividly depicted in the two cartoons, the first one shows a man lying beside a wall with many books, saying, “What a lot of books I have!” In contrast, the second cartoon presents the same man sitting near a table, stating: “I try to read 20 books this year.” Beneath the cartoons are the words: “‘Have Books’ and ‘Read Books’”. Undoubtedly, the cartoonist intends to convey a profound message: it is not merely owning books but taking practical action to read them that truly contributes to personal growth.
The implication of the cartoons is worth pondering. On the one hand, merely possessing books without reading them is like having a treasure but not using it—such a behavior is meaningless and cannot bring any real benefit. On the other hand, setting reading goals and taking action to fulfill them can enrich our knowledge, broaden our horizons, and cultivate our spiritual wealth. In fact, the difference between “having” and “doing” lies in whether we can turn potential resources into practical gains. For individuals, only through action can we transform ideas into reality and achieve self-improvement.
In conclusion, taking action is the key to unlocking personal potential and achieving growth. Therefore, we should advocate the practice of turning intentions into actions. In daily life, we should avoid the inertia of “only possessing without utilizing” and actively take steps to realize our goals—whether it is reading a book, learning a skill, or pursuing a dream. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations and add brilliance to our lives.
考研英语一真题写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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