进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there are two tourists sitting on aboat,enjoying the scenery and throwing garbage to the river. In their benind, the river had been swaped by the garbage. Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and insociety.
The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant On the one hand,behaviours that harm the environment can damage personal image and reputation,leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.On the other hand environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including setting clear rules and regulations and strengthen the guiding role of the media inpublic.But would these measures be corprehensve enough? In reality,we also need to help students cultivate more rational values.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:aboat
批改:a boat
原文:In their benind
批改:Behind them,
原文:had been swaped
批改:不需要用过去完成时,现在时即可,改成:is filled with
原文:by
批改:去掉
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there are two tourists sitting on aboat,enjoying the scenery and throwing garbage to the river. In their benind, the river had been swaped by the garbage. Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and insociety.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
批改:加逗号断句
原文:The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant On the one hand,behaviours that harm the environment can damage personal image and reputation,leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.On the other hand environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:strengthen
批改:strengthening
原文:corprehensve
批改:comprehensive
原文:ow can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including setting clear rules and regulations and strengthen the guiding role of the media inpublic.But would these measures be corprehensve enough? In reality,we also need to help students cultivate more rational values.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯,但是要注意正确断句;语法方面,注意时态的正确选取以及including介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。
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