启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2011年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语二大作文备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts parts of the portion of market"s brand of domestic car"s market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic was approximutely 26%, but by 2009, its portion gradually risen to 32%. In the contrast, the percentage of Japanese brand was about 34%, but decreasing about 8% during the same period. Simultaneously, the precentage of US brand kept steady.
The core reason for the phenomenon can be explained as follow. First and foremost, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of our society, the technology of car was enhanced tremendously which improved the quality of the domestic car. Its quality upgraded, the car was taken by more and more people. What is more, in order to support the domestic brand, people would choose Chinese car which could boost our enconomy. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is reasonable.
What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic car will increase significantly in the long run. The enconomy of our country will be flourishing in the furture.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:parts of the portion of market"s brand of domestic car"s market
批改:表达混乱,可改为the market share of different car brands in the domestic market
原文:domestic
批改:后面要补充名词 cars
原文:approximutely
批改:approximately
原文:gradually
批改:应该用过去完成时,前面补充had
原文:the
批改:多余,应删除
原文:brand
批改:要用复数 brands
原文:decreasing
批改:要用过去完成时had decreased by
原文:brand
批改:要用复数 brands
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts parts of the portion of market"s brand of domestic car"s market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic was approximutely 26%, but by 2009, its portion gradually risen to 32%. In the contrast, the percentage of Japanese brand was about 34%, but decreasing about 8% during the same period. Simultaneously, the precentage of US brand kept steady.
批改:描述了图标内容,注意单复数和时态问题
原文:follow
批改:要用复数 follows
原文:car
批改:要用复数cars
原文: tremendously
批改:后加逗号
原文:taken
批改:用chosen更恰当
原文:the
批改:指代不明,应改为 domestic
原文:car
批改:要用复数cars
原文:was
批改:要用复数形式 were
原文:enconomy
批改:economy
原文:enconomy
批改:economy
原文:furture
批改:future
原文:car
批改:要用复数 cars
原文:Its
批改:结合语义应改为After
原文:The core reason for the phenomenon can be explained as follow. First and foremost, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of our society, the technology of car was enhanced tremendously which improved the quality of the domestic car. Its quality upgraded, the car was taken by more and more people. What is more, in order to support the domestic brand, people would choose Chinese car which could boost our enconomy. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is reasonable.
批改:从汽车行业 发展和爱国情怀两个角度展开分析,注意 拼写和语法问题
原文:What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic car will increase significantly in the long run. The enconomy of our country will be flourishing in the furture.
批改:表达个人观点,注意单词拼写
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:6/15
题目要求:对图表内容表述全面,个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文用了一些经典句式,但语法错误和拼写错误也较多,尤其是单复数问题较多,还有个别句子表达不清晰,影响了整体表达效果;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容,第二段给出详细分析,第三段表达个人观点,架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;继续积累经典句式;加强语法练习;提高单词拼写的准确性;
同学还有进步的空间,加油啊~
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