本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2011年考研英语一大作文高分范例,并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧,是考研英语学习的高价值内容。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
This is a simple but enlightening cartoon, in which there is a boatman steering the boat at the bow, while at the stern, a couple is chating, surrounded by numerous snack bags. Disregarding the scenic beauty around, the girl litters the garbage into the river. Casting a glance at the stern"s wake, we can spot various garbage floating on the water, which are marring the natural elegance of the tourist attraction. Finally, several Chinese characters can be noticed below the pictures, which say "Litter discarded along the trip".
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, overly focusing on their own travel demands, are prone to cognitive bias, mistaking "enjoyment" for one-way gain, and ignoring that the carrying capacity of scenic environments determines the quality of travel experiences. Only through active protection can the beauty of traveling avoid becoming a one-time consumption.
Active protection efforts should be initiated from two perspectives: scenic management authorities, and individual tourists. Scenic spots improve rewards and penalties with stricter supervision, while tourists build a sense of responsibility and practice environmental protection. Only then can a win-win of travel and conservation be achieved.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:This is a simple but enlightening cartoon, in which there is a boatman steering the boat at the bow, while at the stern, a couple is chating, surrounded by numerous snack bags. Disregarding the scenic beauty around, the girl litters the garbage into the river. Casting a glance at the stern"s wake, we can spot various garbage floating on the water, which are marring the natural elegance of the tourist attraction. Finally, several Chinese characters can be noticed below the pictures, which say "Litter discarded along the trip".
批改:对图画的内容描述的非常全面,语言也很连贯,值得表扬。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, overly focusing on their own travel demands, are prone to cognitive bias, mistaking "enjoyment" for one-way gain, and ignoring that the carrying capacity of scenic environments determines the quality of travel experiences. Only through active protection can the beauty of traveling avoid becoming a one-time consumption.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:Active protection efforts should be initiated from two perspectives: scenic management authorities, and individual tourists. Scenic spots improve rewards and penalties with stricter supervision, while tourists build a sense of responsibility and practice environmental protection. Only then can a win-win of travel and conservation be achieved.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:19/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,语法基础很好。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。如能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,会使得句子结构更加清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬,继续加油。
本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文,在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点,对着薄弱点学提升更快,是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约,免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。
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