考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈,仅靠背诵远远不够,必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2019年考研英语二高分批改范例,涵盖考研英语二作文模板高频常考话题,逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
As is illustrated in the statistic among school leaver about choose to future. the percentage of get the job decreased from 68.1% to 60.7% in the five years between 2013 and 2018, and the percentage of get higher education increased from 26.3% to 34.0%, the while the percentage of those who start-up only 1.3% and 2.6% .From my perspective, the above figures reveal a currently prevailing tendency among contemporary society.
To examine the root cause of this tendency, certain factors should be specifically pointed out here. First and foremost, just as Karl Marx once said, the economic basis determines the superstructure. Given the shifting economic atmosphere and the state of affairs, it is not surprising for us to witness the above-mentioned tendency. What"s more, the phenomenon under discussion could be attributed to the shift of relevant student"s values.In addition, social media platforms substantially facilitate the flow and intensification of certain awareness, thus accelerating the transition from an emerging phenomenon into the new reality.
In conclusion, this tendency is of profound inevitability, and will continue to exist in the foreseeable future. Correspondingly, as the vanguard and successor of our society, we should grasp the pulse of this trend, surf the wave of this era, and actively meet whatever challenges and opportunities it may bring forth.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As is illustrated in the statistic among school leaver about choose to future.
批改:结构混乱、表达不清,改为 “As is illustrated in the bar chart about the post-graduation choices of school leavers from a certain university”(明确图表类型和核心内容 “某大学毕业生的毕业去向选择”,修正句式杂糅问题)
原文: get the job decreased from 68.1% to 60.7% in the five years between 2013 and 2018, and the percentage of get higher e
批改: “of” 后需接动名词,改为 “the percentage of getting jobs”“the percentage of pursuing higher education”(“pursuing higher education” 比 “getting higher education” 更地道,符合考研写作常用表达)
原文:the while the percentage of those who start-up only 1.3% and 2.6%
批改:“the while” 应为 “while”,缺少谓语动词,改为 “while the percentage of those who start their own businesses increased slightly from 1.3% to 2.6% (a rise of 1.3%)”(补充谓语动词,修正数据顺序和表达)
原文:a currently prevailing tendency
批改:建议优化:改为 “reveal a prevailing tendency in contemporary society
批改:本段虽然识别了三大趋势,但开篇句存在语法问题,数据描述部分也存在错误和结构不完整的问题,导致信息传递不够清晰准确,看看是识别问题还是自己写作的问题,如果是前者下次注意
原文:Given the shifting economic atmosphere and the state of affairs, it is not surprising for us to witness the above-mentioned tendency.
批改:此句内容空泛,未提供任何具体信息来解释图表中的具体变化。
原文: First and foremost, just as Karl Marx once said, the economic basis determines the superstructure.
批改:逻辑关联不紧密,且过于抽象,可简化为 “with the continuous development of China"s economy, the job market has higher requirements for talents" academic qualifications and professional abilities”(直接点明经济发展对人才需求的影响,使原因更具体)
原文:forms substantially facilitate the flow and intensification of certain awareness, thus accelerating the tran
批改:语义空泛:“social media platforms substantially facilitate the flow and intensification of certain awareness” 中 “certain awareness” 指代不明,改为 “social media platforms have popularized the awareness of lifelong learning, encouraging more students to pursue further education”(明确社交媒体传递的 “终身学习意识”,与深造趋势紧密关联)
原文:s accelerating the transition from an emerging phenomenon into the new realit
批改:可简化为 “thus promoting the popularity of further education”(直接点明结果,避免复杂空泛的表述)
批改:该段尝试分析现象原因,但存在引用空泛、语义模糊、表达冗余的问题,原因与图表核心趋势的关联性不足,论证缺乏针对性。需简化冗余引用,明确原因与主题的逻辑关联,提升表达的具体性和地道性
原文:n conclusion, this tendency is of profound inevitability, and will continue to exist in the foreseeable future. Correspondingly, as the vanguard and successor of our society, we should grasp the pulse of this trend, surf the wave of this era, and actively meet whatever challenges and opportunities it may bring forth.
批改:此句呼吁有力,但与前文的分析衔接不够紧密,因为前文并未深入分析这些“挑战”和“机遇”具体是什么。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8/15分
本文结构完整,并尝试使用理论引用和排比句式,显示出一定的写作野心。然而,文章在内容的深度和准确性上存在明显的优化空间。最核心的问题在于第二段的原因分析过于空泛,未能提供具体、切实的论据来支撑观点,使得论证缺乏说服力。此外,第一段的数据描述存在语法和事实错误,影响了开篇的专业性。建议在备考中,将重点放在构建具体、逻辑严密的论证上,确保每一个观点都能紧密围绕图表数据展开,避免空泛的论述。
本文展示的2019年考研英语二范文可以提炼为考研英语二作文模板的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板,均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考