本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2021年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, a young boy dressed in the Monkey King costume, with confused looks on his face, says in shight perplexity, "Many classmates don"t have interst in learning opera, dad." His father, smiling on his face, replies encouragingly "It is enough that you enjoy it yourself"
At Pirst glance, the image clearly reveals that people"s att--itudes toward if insist their true hobbies, with some individuals giving up easily and others determined to keep going. Actually, this picture is intended to remind us of the vital vole the vital role that follow your heart and persever it play in uparading your ability and achieving you want to By following our ture interests, we can cultivate our deepen passion and gain our confidence in our unique talents. Moreover, when we dedicate ourselves to what we love, we are more likely to build resilience and adaptability, as passion naturally strengthons perseverance.
in summary, pursuing our true passion calls for us not to be swayed by others" opinions and to remain authentic to ourselves. In the brief, we should strik a balance betweren our own passion and the perspective of others.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:re, a young boy dressed in the Monkey King costume, with confused looks on his face, says in shight perplexity, "Many classmates don"t have interst in learning opera, dad." His father, smiling on his face, replies encouragingly "It is enough that you enjoy it yourself"
批改: 你准确地抓住了图画中的核心元素(男孩的困惑、父亲的鼓励)和对话,描述得很生动。 •
原文: shight perplexity,
批改:“shight perplexity” 应为 “slight perplexity”,意为“略带困惑”。“interst” 拼写错误,应为 “interest”。
原文:arly reveals that people"s att--itudes toward if insist their true hobbies, with some individuals giving up easily and others determined to keep going. Actually, this picture is intended to remind us of the vital vole the vital role that follow your heart and persever it play in uparading your ability and achieving you want to By following our ture interests, we can cultivate our deepen passion and gain our confidence in our unique talents. Moreover, when we dedicate ourselves to what we love, we are more likely to build resilience and adaptability, as passion naturally strengthons perseveranc
批改:本段成功地从图画描述过渡到深层寓意的阐释,指出了“追随内心”和“坚持不懈”的重要性,论证层次清晰。“resilience and adaptability”等词的运用也很好。
原文:he image clearly reveals that people"s att--itudes toward if insist their true hobbies, with some individuals giving up easily and others determined to keep going. Actually, this picture is intended to remind us of the vital vole the vital role that follow your heart and persever it play in uparading your ability and achieving you want to By following our ture interests,
批改:词汇与拼写:“Pirst” 应为 “First”。“att--itudes” 应为 “attitudes”。“vole” 应为 “role”。“uparading” 应为 “upgrading”。“ture” 应为 “true”。“deepen” 是动词,这里应改为形容词 “deep” 或名词 “depth”。“strengthons” 应为 “strengthens”。
原文: Pirst glance, the image clearly reveals that people"s att--itudes toward if insist their true hobbies, wit
批改:第一句 “...reveals that people"s attitudes toward if insist their true hobbies...” 结构混乱,表意不清。建议修改为:“...reveals the different attitudes people hold toward their true hobbies: some give up easily when facing a lack of peer interest, while others are determined to persist.”
原文: achieving you want to
批改:“achieving you want to” 后面缺少宾语,建议补充完整,如 “achieving what you want”
原文:ursuing our true passion calls for us not to be swayed by others" opinions and to remain authentic to ourselves. In the brief, we should strik a balance betweren our own passion and the perspective of others.
批改: 结尾段给出了明确的结论,并提出了“保持真我”的观点,很好地总结了全文。
原文:n summary, pursuing our true passion calls for us not to be swayed by others" opinions and to remain authentic to ourselves. In the brief, we should st
批改:“in summary” 首字母应大写 “In summary”。“In the brief” 是错误表达,应为 “In brief” 或 “In short”。“strik” 应为 “strike”。“betweren” 应为 “between”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14
总评:
1. 内容要点:准确描述了图画,并对其寓意进行了合理的阐释,基本完成了试题规定的任务。
2. 语言运用:能够使用一些较复杂的语法结构和词汇来表达思想,但文中有较多影响理解的拼写和语法错误。
3. 连贯与衔接:文章结构清晰,使用了“Moreover”, “In summary”等衔接词,层次分明。
修改建议
目前影响你得分的主要是拼写和基础语法错误。建议把作文里订正过的词(如interest, perseverance, strengthen)和句型专门记下来,考前反复看,非常有效。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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