思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2021年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different exercise type among residents in a certain city. Exercise at alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7% . Additionally, factors such as exercise with family and exercise with a group are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as fallows. To start with, as the saying goes,"On life"s stage, pressure is always present."Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense life and work pressure, and as a result, exercise alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. what"s more, as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to individual activity .
What about future trends? I am confident that the percentage of exercise alone will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast,the proportion of group activities will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: different exercise type
批改:改为 different ways of physical exercise 表达更精确
原文:Exercise at
批改:副词修饰动词,且动词原形不能作主语,改为 Exercising
原文:exercise
批改:by 是介词,后面跟的是动词的 ing 形式,改为 exercising
原文:exercise
批改:such as 后面跟的是动词的 ing 形式,改为 exercising
原文:exercise with a group
批改:改为 group activities 更合适
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
批改:语法正确
原文:exercise
批改:动词原形不能作主语,改为 exercising
原文:what"s
批改:首字母大写
批改:内容表达不错,也比较具体,此处除了分析占比最大的元素,也可对占比第二的元素进行修饰
原文:exercise
批改:改为 exercising
批改:内容表达不错,但是此处是静态图,没有变化趋势,可参考范文的表达来写,What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:存在几处语法问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 语法和内容表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心 2. 首字母大小写要规范,之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的表达,加油!
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2021年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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