2021年考研英语一大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2021年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing traditional costume, saying to his father, "Dad, many of my classmates think that learning opera is too boring," while his father encourages him to persist in his hobby. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, sticking to oneself can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society.

In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations, and create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：traditional costume

批改：前面使用不定冠词 a或定冠词 the会更符合英语习惯

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, sticking to oneself can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society.

批改：与范文高度相似，建议运用自己的语言，可以替换模板句的某个单词、短语

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17 /20

从结构层面看，本文采用描述-分析-总结”三段式结构：首段精准概括漫画内容并点明主旨；第二段从正反两方面深入论证；结尾升华主题，提出倡议。

从内容层面看，不仅讨论个人成长（self-fulfillment），更延伸到社会发展（catalyst for societal development），体现宏观视野。结尾“create a happier life”呼应青年责任，升华立意。但是整篇都与范文高度相似，建议用自己的语言，这样才能有效提高。

从语言层面看，语法上有个小错误。

本文的2021年考研英语一高分范文只是启航教育考研英语作文万能句型写作锦囊的一小部分精华。2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班由斌哥主讲，配套锦囊妙句、写作模板、真题批改、精品图书与社群服务，是考研英语写作冲刺的不二之选。