思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2013年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the changes of populations of part-time jobs among students in a certain university. In freshman year, the percentage of populations of part-time jobs was 67.77%. but by senior year, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of university"s students believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and c hances, professional experience is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, doing part-time job has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trend? I am confident that the proportion of populations of part-time jobs among university"s students is a clear sign of society improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ar chart clearly depicts the changes of populations of part-time jobs among students in a certain university. In freshman year, the percentage of populations of part-time jobs was 67.77%. but by senior year, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%
批改:第一段描述图表比较清晰到位,数据比较准确,但是表述有些问题 ,按照批注修改哦。
原文:e changes of populations of part-time jobs among students
批改:表述不是很好,populations指的是人口的意思,你这里想要表述兼职工作的数量,用populations不太好,这是其一 其二,表格写的是兼职人数的百分比,这里写的是兼职工作的百分比,重点完全错了哦。其三,词语用的过于累赘了,有些臃肿, 改为the changes of students taking part-time jobs...
原文:c h
批改:不留空格
原文:he core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of university"s students believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and c hances, professional experience is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, doing part-time job has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段内容写的还是可以的,比较充分详实丰富,句子写的也比较通顺,没有什么大的语法错误
原文:d
批改:可以加个s
原文: populations of
批改:students taking
原文:among university"s students
批改:删掉
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9/15
语法:语法上注意词汇的用法,词语的含义,用的场合均有一定的规则,要注意加强学习哦。
词汇:单词还可以,没有什么大的问题,继续保持哦。
逻辑:整体逻辑可以的,读起来比较顺畅。
内容:三段结构可以的,字数和内容分配的很均衡,第二段分点写很有逻辑性。
未来可期,继续加油吧。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2013年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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