进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2021年考研英语二批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语二一还是考研英语二二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart above clearly reveals the various ways of resident’s P.E. exercise in a certain city. Among all the four categories, the percentage of exercising alone are the highest, accounting for 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. On the contrary, factors such as exercising with family and team activities are included, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
Several primary causes that contribute to the above-mentioned phenomenon could be summarized as follows. On the one hand, our government has made huge efforts to build a sound exercise system, enabling people to have ample opportunities for exercising alone. On the other hand, in a bid to develop the construction of people’s spiritual civilization and enjoy comfortable life, people in mounting numbers prefer exercising with family and friends to team activities. Considering these factors, the revealed phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I’m confident that the proportion of exercising alone and exercising with family and friends will slowly increase in the future during decades. In contrast, the percentage of team activities will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:esident’s P.E. exercise in a certain city. Among all the four categories, the percentage of exercising
批改:resident’s P.E. exercise-> residents" physical exercise(“居民”用复数所有格residents";“体育锻炼”常用physical exercise)。 the percentage ... are-> the percentage ... is(主语percentage是单数,谓语动词应用is)。
原文:e bar chart above clearly reveals the various ways of resident’s P.E. exercise in a certain city. Among all the four categories, the percentage of exercising alone are the highest, accounting for 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. On the contrary, factors such as exercising with family and team activities are included, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
批改: 本段清晰地呈现了数据,并正确指出了排名
原文:al primary causes that contribute to the above-mentioned phenomenon could be summarized as follows. On the one hand, our government has made huge efforts to build a sound exercise system, enabling people to have ample opportunities for exercising alone. On the other hand, in a bid to develop the construction of people’s spiritual civilization and enjoy comfortable life, people in mounting numbers prefer exercising with family and friends to team activities.
批改:本段尝试从两个角度分析原因,思路是好的
原文:bout future trends? I’m confident that the proportion of exercising alone and exercising with family and friends will slowly increase in the future during decades. In contrast, the percentage of team activities will likely continue to decrease.
批改:段对未来趋势做出了预测
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
总评与建议:
同学,你的作文结构完整,描述清晰,这是很大的优点!当前的提升关键在于增强论述的针对性和深度。
让分析直指数据核心:在分析原因时,优先解释图表中最突出的现象(例如,为什么“独自运动”的比例如此之高),而不是平均用力。每个原因最好都能直接支撑图表的主要特征。
优化语言表达:部分表述可以更简洁、直接。比如,一些比较宏大的概念可以根据语境适当简化,让观点更清晰地传达出来。
充实结论部分:在提出预测后,用一句话简要说明理由,让结论不显得突兀,增强说服力。
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语二大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。
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