2013年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2013年考研英语二批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the breakdown of the change for

clollege student working in free-time. The senior take the lead at

88.24%, followed by jonior at 71.93%, Additionally, factors such as

sophomone, and freshman are also considered. accounting for

71.13% andl67.77% respectively

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with. As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19

has impacted every aspect of our lives. significantly altering

people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently. an increasing

number of college students have started paying more attention to

work in free fime . In addition ,As the saying goes. "on life"s stage,

pressure is always present" Nowadays, university students are

compelled to confront immense live pressure, and as a result ,

working in free-time has emerged as their significant choice for

utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted

phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising. what about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and

truthfully reflect the choices of college students, serving as a

microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain

relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he bar chart clearly displays the breakdown of the change for clollege student working in free-time.

批改：“clollege”应为“college”。句子表达说明柱状图清晰展示了大学生业余时间工作的变化情况。

原文： senior take the lead at 88.24%, followed by jonior at 71.93%, Additionally, factors such as sophomone, and freshman are also considered. accounting for 71.13% andl67.77% respectively

批改：“senior”“jonior”“sophomone”拼写错误，分别为“seniors”“juniors”“sophomores”；“take”应改为“take up”表示“占据（比例）”更合适；“at”用于表示比例不太准确，用“with”更好；“Additionally”前面应该是句号吧；“accounting for”前缺少连词，导致句子结构混乱；“andl67.77%”中“andl”拼写错误，应为“and 67.77%”。

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.

批改：句子表达清晰，语法正确，准确引出了下文对现象原因的阐述。

原文： start with. As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives. significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.

批改：“To start with.”后面的句号使用错误，应改为逗号；“significantly”前的句号使用错误

原文：nsequently. an increasing number of college students have started paying more attention to work in free fime .

批改：“Consequently.”后的句号使用错误，应改为逗号；“free fime”拼写错误，应为“free time”。

原文：n addition ,As the saying goes. "on life"s stage, pressure is always present"

批改：“In addition”后的逗号多余；“As the saying goes.”后的句号使用错误，应改为逗号；结尾缺少句号。

原文：adays, university students are compelled to confront immense live pressure, and as a result , working in free-time has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time

批改：整体句子表达较清晰

原文：onsidering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：句子表达清晰，语法正确，逻辑合理。

原文：what about future trends?

批改：句子开头应大写，即“What about future trends?” 此句单独成段，起到过渡作用

原文：m confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：句子表达较长但逻辑清晰，语法正确，准确地表达了对未来趋势的观点。

原文：bar chart clearly displays the breakdown of the change for clollege student working in free-time. The senior take the lead at 88.24%, followed by jonior at 71.93%, Additionally, factors such as sophomone, and freshman are also considered. accounting for 71.13% andl67.77% respectively

批改：存在大量拼写和语法错误，严重影响对图表信息的准确传达，内容完整性也因错误大打折扣。

原文： reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with. As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives. significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently. an increasing number of college students have started paying more attention to work in free fime . In addition ,As the saying goes. "on life"s stage, pressure is always present" Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense live pressure, and as a result , working in free-time has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time

批改：有部分标点和词汇错误，但整体逻辑较清晰，能够阐述出大学生业余时间工作现象的原因。不过，错误影响了段落的流畅性和准确性。

原文：idering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising. what about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades

批改：表达较为准确，逻辑合理，但存在大小写错误，对整体质量有一定影响。

原文：accounting

批改：这里accounting前面的句号应该用逗号。另外这里描述大学生兼职人数数据的变化，最好是分析上升下降情况，而不是描述占比情况，这这种take the lead这种表达更适合饼状图静态图

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：7/15

题目要求：从结构上看，开篇尝试对柱状图所展示的大学生不同年级业余时间工作比例情况进行描述，之后分析了现象产生的原因，最后对未来趋势发表看法，基本涵盖了题目要求的两个关键要点。然而，在解读图表部分，由于存在大量拼写和语法错误，导致对图表数据的描述不准确、不清晰。

语言表达：部分语句能够运用一些常见的表达来阐述观点，如“To start with”“In addition”“Consequently”“As the saying goes”等连接词和短语的使用，在一定程度上体现了文章逻辑连贯。在描述未来趋势时，“I am confident that...”这样的句式也较为清晰地表达了肯定态度。

内容层面：在内容方面，尝试从多个角度分析大学生业余时间工作现象的原因。提到新冠疫情的影响改变了人们的行为和选择，以及大学生面临的生活压力促使他们选择在业余时间工作，这些原因具有一定的合理性，能够反映出部分现实情况。对未来趋势的判断，认为图表中的统计数据反映了大学生在时代变化中的选择，且可能在未来几十年保持相对稳定，也有一定的思考逻辑。

修改建议：努力避免一些低级的拼写，标点错误。加油！

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。