2021年考研英语一大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2021年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, talking to his father,“Dad,many of my classmates think that learning opera is boring,”while his father encourage him going to do his hobby. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is insisting on oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

Several primary causes that contribute to the above-mentioned phenomenon could be summarized as follows. On the one hand , insisting on oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. In the second place, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, improving insisting on oneself is very significant.

In brief, insisting on oneself is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：hown in the cartoon, there is a boy, talking to his father,“Dad,many of my classmates think that learning opera is boring,”while his father encourage him going to do his hobby. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is insisting on oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：本段准确地描述了漫画内容并清晰地引出了主旨

原文：encourage him goin

批改：encourage him going → 可以调整为 encourages him to go 或更简洁的 encourages him to pursue。动词"encourage"的常用结构是"encourage someone to do something"

原文：veral primary causes that contribute to the above-mentioned phenomenon could be summarized as follows. On the one hand , insisting on oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. In the second place, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, improving insisting on oneself is very significant.

批改：本段从个人价值和社会认知两个角度展开论证，思路是好的

原文： On the one hand , ins

批改：On the one hand → 这个短语通常需要与"On the other hand"配对使用。这里作为第一个论点，使用 First 或 To begin with 会更合适。

原文： On the one hand , insisting on oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-co

批改：本段两个论点之间的逻辑连接可以更紧密。第一个论点谈个人意义，第二个论点谈社会背景，可以在中间加一个过渡句，如 Moreover, in the face of a rapidly changing society...，使层次更清晰。

原文：insisting on oneself is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier li

批改：结尾段非常出色，结构完整，句式富有变化，特别是倒装句的使用

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与修改建议

你的作文展现出了清晰的篇章结构和良好的立意，尤其在结尾部分使用了地道的英语句式，这是非常值得肯定的。在主体段，你也尝试从多个角度进行论证，显示了你的思考深度。

为了使作文更上一层楼，建议你重点关注两个方面：一是语法细节的打磨，特别是一些常用动词的固定搭配；二是段落内部及段落之间的逻辑衔接，确保每一个连接词都能精准地服务于你的论证思路。相信通过在这些细节上的持续积累，你的作文会表现得更加出色。

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