2019年考研英语二大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇折线图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语二作文范文常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts where the graduation go at a certain university in 2013 and 2018.In 2013,the percentage of find a job was 68.1%,but by 2018,this rate had gradually decreased to 60.7%.Meanwhile,the proportion of keep studying experienced a slow increase of 7.7% durling a same period. Simultaneously,the percentage of start a personal business remained stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summariezed as follows.To start with,As the conductor orchestraing the symphony of changes,our goverment has made tremendous efforts to bulid a sound education system,enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education.In addition,An increaseing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes,challenges,and chances,knowledge is indispensable if they wish to achieve susccess in the long run.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsuprising.
What about future trends?I am confident that the proportion of keep studying is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decade. In contrast, the proportion of find job will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: line chart clearly depicts where the graduation go at a certain university in 2013 and 2018.In 2013,the percentage of find a job was 68.1%,but by 2018,this rate had gradually decreased to 60.7%.Meanwhile,the proportion of keep studying experienced a slow increase of 7.7% durling a same period. Simultaneously,the percentage of start a personal business remained stable and steady.
批改:你准确地捕捉并对比了图表中的核心数据变化,并且使用了“meanwhile", "simultaneously”等衔接词,让描述很有层次感,做得很好!
原文:here the graduatio
批改:...where the graduation go... 这里有一个小错误。“毕业生”应该是 graduates,并且从句中的谓语动词 go 应该用第三人称复数 go,但更地道的说法是 the destinations of graduates(毕业生的去向)或 what graduates did after university。
原文: percentage of fin
批改:...the percentage of find a job was... 介词 of 后面需要接名词或动名词。所以“找工作”应该用其名词形式 finding a job 或 those finding a job。同样的问题也出现在 keep studying 和 start a personal business,应分别改为 continuing their studies 和 starting their own businesses。
原文:durling a sa
批改:...durling a same period. 这里有两处小错误:durling 是 during 的拼写错误;a same period 的冠词使用不当,应为 the same period。
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summariezed as follows.To start with,As the conductor orchestraing the symphony of changes,our goverment has made tremendous efforts to bulid a sound education system,enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education.In addition,An increaseing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes,challenges,and chances,knowledge is indispensable if they wish to achieve susccess in the long run.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsuprising.
批改:本段从政府支持和个人认知两个层面分析原因,思路非常正确,而且思考有深度。特别是将政府比作“指挥家”的比喻,非常有文采!
原文:n be summari
批改:summariezed 拼写错误,应为 summarized。 句号后应有一个空格,然后是 To start with。同时,To start with 和 As the conductor 这两个首字母大写的短语直接连在一起,结构不清晰。建议将 To start with 后的逗号改为句号,或者将 As the conductor... 整合到前一句中。
原文:orchestraing
批改:orchestraing 拼写错误,应为 orchestrating;goverment 应为 government;bulid 应为 build。
原文:unsuprisi
批改:unsuprising 拼写错误,应为 unsurprising
原文:t about future trends?I am confident that the proportion of keep studying is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decade. In contrast, the proportion of find job will likely continue to decrease.
批改:你对未来趋势的预测与前文的分析紧密呼应,结论合理,并且使用了“In contrast”进行对比,很棒!
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
结构完整、逻辑清晰、并且有意识地使用了比喻等修辞手法。主要的失分点在于一些影响表达精准度的语法结构错误(特别是介词后的动词形式)和拼写错误。
总评与修改建议:
一是你的论证思路非常清晰,能从宏观和微观两个角度分析问题;二是你敢于并善于使用“as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这样生动的比喻,这证明你具备了写出闪光句子的潜力。
当前,我们可以集中精力解决一个核心问题:确保语言形式的准确性。
我给你的建议是:
掌握“动名词”作主语/宾语:请务必记住,在介词(如of, in, for)后面,或者当动词作为句子的主语时,要使用其动名词形式(verb+ing)。这是英语写作中的一个关键规则。你可以通过多读多练来形成习惯。
建立“拼写检查”习惯:在完成全文后,请务必留出1-2分钟,快速扫描一遍,专门检查单词的拼写。对于较长、较复杂的单词,可以平时多写几遍加深记忆。
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