2014年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2014年考研英语二批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语二写作技巧教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文

That vast changes have occurred in respect of population change is clearly shown in the chart. To be specific there was a dramatic increase from300 milion in 1990 to 666 million in 2015 in the number of town population. Meanwhile, the figure of rural population falled from 834 million to 674 million during the same period, simple as the chart looks, its implicit meaning should be thought provoking

This situation can be traced to a multitude of factors; the fundamental ones, however, can be sought as follows. First and foremost， the oppcrtunities in the city can exert a positive in fluence on town population jumped. A recent Internet questionnaire of the relevant department indicates that approximately 86.2% of the respondents hold the some view. More over, the desire to acquire urbanization contributes to rural population steep drop. As Edward zlotkarski, director of community servie at Bentley college in Massachusetts, Putsit, “urbanization, Under any circumstances, teds to be of great importance for us.

All these factors support a rational conclusion that great importance should be attached to city development. only in this way would our life become more real an meaningful.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：vast changes have occurred in re

批改：开头句 That vast changes...is clearly shown 存在主谓一致问题，changes (复数) 与 is (单数) 不匹配。可改为 Vast changes...are clearly shown。

原文：ulation change is clearly shown in the chart. To be specific there was a dramatic increase from300 milion in 199

批改：from300 milion -> from 300 million (缺少空格，milion 拼写错误)

原文：n 2015

批改：in 2015 -> in 2010 (关键的年份数据错误)

原文：f rural population falled from 834 million to 674 million during the same period, simple as the char

批改：rural population falled -> rural population fell (fall 的过去式是 fell) simple as the chart looks -> Simple as the chart looks (句首字母大写)

原文：hat vast changes have occurred in respect of population change is clearly shown in the chart. To be specific there was a dramatic increase from300 milion in 1990 to 666 million in 2015 in the number of town population. Meanwhile, the figure of rural population falled from 834 million to 674 million during the same period, simple as the chart looks, its implicit meaning should be thought provoking

批改：本段准确地概括了图表的核心趋势，并尝试使用高级句式开头，这一点很棒！

原文：ought as fo

批改：can be sought as follows -> can be outlined as follows 或 are as follows (用词不当，sought 是 seek 的过去分词，意为“寻找”)

原文：crtunities in the city can exert a pos

批改：oppcrtunities -> opportunities (拼写错误) in fluence -> influence (拼写错误)

原文：on town populatio

批改：on town population jumped -> on the growth of the urban population (语法错误，influence 后接 on sth，sth 应为名词性成分)

原文：hold the some view. Mo

批改：hold the some view -> hold the same view (拼写错误) More over -> Moreover (拼写错误)

原文：o rural population steep d

批改：rural population steep drop -> the steep drop in the rural population (语法错误，同上，需使用名词形式)

原文：ervie at Bentley college in Mas

批改：servie -> service (拼写错误) Putsit -> puts it (首字母不应大写)

原文：teds to be of grea

批改：teds to be -> tends to be (拼写错误)

原文：his situation can be traced to a multitude of factors; the fundamental ones, however, can be sought as follows. First and foremost， the oppcrtunities in the city can exert a positive in fluence on town population jumped. A recent Internet questionnaire of the relevant department indicates that approximately 86.2% of the respondents hold the some view. More over, the desire to acquire urbanization contributes to rural population steep drop. As Edward zlotkarski, director of community servie at Bentley college in Massachusetts, Putsit, “urbanization, Under any circumstances, teds to be of great importance for us.

批改：本段试图从多个角度论证并使用引证，显示了积极的思考。但论证被密集的语言错误和不贴切的论据严重削弱了。需要将论点用更准确、直接的语言表达出来，并专注于与“城镇化”直接相关的原因（如就业、教育、医疗等）。

原文：only in this way would our life beco

批改：only -> Only (句首字母大写) an meaningful -> and meaningful (拼写错误)

原文：these factors support a rational conclusion that great importance should be attached to city development. only in this way would our life become more real an meaningf

批改：结尾段给出了结论

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：总分与总评

总体得分：9分

基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了多数内容要点。但漏掉或错误阐述了一些内容要点（如关键年份），有一些语法及词汇错误，并写了一些无关内容（如问卷和专家引用），影响了理解。

总评：

同学，你好！你试图运用复杂句式、高级词汇和多种论证手法，这本身就是向高分作文迈进的表现。

1. 语言方面：

你的主要挑战在于“表达的精准度”远远落后于“追求的复杂度”。文中出现了大量拼写错误和用词不当，这导致很多好想法没能被清晰地传达出来。请记住：准确的简单句，远胜于错误频出的复杂句。 当前阶段，建议你优先保证每一句话的语法和拼写正确，在此基础上再逐步增加句式的多样性。

2. 结构方面：

你的文章结构是完整的。但在内容上，需要提升论证的“有效性”。第二段引用的论据与图表主题的关联性不强，显得刻意且说服力不足。对于这类社会现象，分析其背后的普遍原因（经济驱动、资源分布等）会比虚构的问卷和专家言论更有力。

总的修改建议：

先求对，再求好：在追求文采前，先确保核心术语（urban, rural）、数据和基本语法100%正确。写完初稿后，请逐词检查拼写。

论证需切题：确保每一个论据都直接、有力地支撑你的论点。放弃使用不相关或可信度低的论据，转而深入挖掘现象背后的内在逻辑。

想要体验启航教育的考研英语批改服务，只需三步：在线咨询提交作文→资深讲师逐句点评→获取完整批改报告。所有报名2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班的同学，均可享受考研英语二写作技巧高分批改服务，名额有限，先到先得。