当你坐在考研英语二考场,面对2021年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语二作文真题话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the percentage breakdown of physical exercise methods of residents in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with families and team are also considered. accounting for 23.9%, and 15.8%. respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, exercising alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build more parks, enabling people to exercise with friends and families. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: exercising with families and team
批改:在描述“团队锻炼”时,“exercising with families and team” 这个并列结构可以处理得更平衡一些。通常我们会说 “exercising with families and in teams” 或者 “family and team exercise”。
原文:e bar chart clearly depicts the percentage breakdown of physical exercise methods of residents in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with families and team are also considered. accounting for 23.9%, and 15.8%. respectively.
批改:你准确地提取了所有核心数据,并且使用了“takes the lead”、“followed by”等地道表达,出色地完成了图表描述的任务。
原文:e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, exercising alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build more parks, enabling people to exercise with friends and families. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:原因分析段的结构非常出色!你成功地将两个原因与图表中的不同数据(独自锻炼 vs. 结伴锻炼)联系了起来,这种一一对应的分析思路值得大力肯定!
原文:hat about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:结尾段给出了明确的预测,并尝试升华主题,完成了任务。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12分
总分与总评
这篇作文内容完整,结构清晰,逻辑连贯,较好地完成了试题规定的任务。运用了较丰富的语法结构和词汇。存在个别语言错误,但不影响理解。
总评与修改建议:
你这篇作文展现出了非常棒的逻辑构建能力!最突出的亮点在于,你能为图表中不同的现象(独自锻炼率高 & 结伴锻炼也存在)分别找到贴切的原因,并清晰地阐述出来。这种分析能力是图表作文的核心。
在给出原因后,可以再多写一句,直接点明这个原因如何导致了图表中的具体结果。
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