考研英语二2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语二大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2016年考研英语二真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

Given is the pie chart directly illustrating the proportion of college students" aim of tour.as the picture shows, appreciating the landscape and relieving stress takes up most part of the chart, which accounts for 37 percent and 33 percent separately. There are also small proportion of other reasons such as entering friendship,fostering independence and etc. t"s hardly necessary for us to expound the improvement of life quality boosting tourism consumption. What really astonishes us is that there is a growing tide of no longer deeming as a traditional notion of sightseeing and serving as a practical reasons.

Several factors can weigh heavily for this transformation. First and foremost, students have to endure enormous stress stemmed from various factors on all side. It can be exemplified that they have to juggle pursuit of great academic outcome and burden of seeking job. Therefore, an escape from reality is under a urgent need so that 言 they can temporarily relieve the burden shouldered on them. What"s more, utilizing tour as a method of fostering independence is unprecedented and quite rewarding, forcing us to schedule ourselves and ceasing relying on parents, which independence is an indispensable ability contributing to future career. At last, we should bear in mind that tour is not a mechanically visiting places of interest and It"s a way of making friends,relaxing our exhausted mind and appreciating the nature.

In the nutshell, tour can be rewarding and through-provoking. Not only can tour be served as way of relaxing but also functioned as a learning process of all-around. self-development./

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：proportion

批改：复数

原文：as

批改：首字母大写

原文：proportion

批改：复数

原文：entering friendship

批改：making friends

原文：t"s

批改：It"s

批改：加people

批改：加上travel

原文：and

批改：改成but instead

批改：加it

原文：reasons

批改：means

原文：Given is the pie chart directly illustrating the proportion of college students" aim of tour.as the picture shows, appreciating the landscape and relieving stress takes up most part of the chart, which accounts for 37 percent and 33 percent separately. There are also small proportion of other reasons such as entering friendship,fostering independence and etc. t"s hardly necessary for us to expound the improvement of life quality boosting tourism consumption. What really astonishes us is that there is a growing tide of no longer deeming as a traditional notion of sightseeing and serving as a practical reasons.

批改：能够清晰的描绘图表中展现的内容，内容完整，注意避免小的语言错误。

原文：stemmed

批改：改成stemming。若用过去分词 “stemmed”，隐含 “压力被源于……” 的被动逻辑，但 “压力源于……” 是主动语义（逻辑上 “压力” 与 “stem from” 是主动关系），因此正确形式应为 现在分词 “stemming”

原文：side

批改：复数

原文：which

批改：which引导定语从句并未对前面内容起到修饰作用，反而，前后应该是因果关系，把which改成because

原文：Several factors can weigh heavily for this transformation. First and foremost, students have to endure enormous stress stemmed from various factors on all side. It can be exemplified that they have to juggle pursuit of great academic outcome and burden of seeking job. Therefore, an escape from reality is under a urgent need so that 言 they can temporarily relieve the burden shouldered on them. What"s more, utilizing tour as a method of fostering independence is unprecedented and quite rewarding, forcing us to schedule ourselves and ceasing relying on parents, which independence is an indispensable ability contributing to future career. At last, we should bear in mind that tour is not a mechanically visiting places of interest and It"s a way of making friends,relaxing our exhausted mind and appreciating the nature.

批改：能够具体阐释出图表背后的真实意义，能够运用逻辑关系词连接句子，使得句与句之间衔接连贯，望继续保持。

原文：the

批改：a

原文：through

批改：thought

原文：In the nutshell, tour can be rewarding and through-provoking. Not only can tour be served as way of relaxing but also functioned as a learning process of all-around. self-development./

批改：能够对图表中的现象进行分析总结，起到了点题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15

1）内容符合题目的要求，能够准确全面的描绘出图表中的内容。

2）词汇方面，基础词汇一定要避免拼写错误，名词单复数要使用正确；句式方面，能够运用一些复杂句式，句型结构灵活多变，但是要注意句子结构的完整和准确；语法方面，主语非谓语的正确使用以及定语从句的正确使用。

3）逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，符合英语句子结构的要求。

4）修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，内容充分，语言逻辑清晰，值得表扬。一定要细心一些，注意避免以上小的细节问题。再接再厉。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2016年考研英语二批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语二大作文冲刺保驾护航。