考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2016年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一写作技巧话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

The drawing above vividly depicts a thought-provoking scence: a father and son. In the picture, in the first picture,the father requires his son study hard, but he is watching TV; in the second picture, the father and his son are studying hard together. Meanwhile, first picture: the child has no motivation to study; second picture: the child is more motivated to study. The caption below reads, "Instead of just demanding, set an example.

This picture aims to convey that example is of great importance in our life. The primary reason is that example can empower individuals to overcome difficulties and achieve their goals. Moreover, from a social perspective, example serves as a cornerstone for a hormonious and Progressive society. Therefore, the value of example should never be underestimated.

In conclusion, it is essential for us to recognize the significance of example. On the on hand, relevant authorities should promote the value of example through education. On the other hand, as indirduals we should cultivate this spirit in daily life. I firmly believe that by doing so, a brighter and more promising future awaits us.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the picture,

批改：重复去掉

批改：加to，require sb to do sth

原文：first picture:

批改：建议写句子，即：the first picture tells us that.....

原文：second picture:

批改：the second picture tells us that.....

原文：The drawing above vividly depicts a thought-provoking scence: a father and son. In the picture, in the first picture,the father requires his son study hard, but he is watching TV; in the second picture, the father and his son are studying hard together. Meanwhile, first picture: the child has no motivation to study; second picture: the child is more motivated to study. The caption below reads, "Instead of just demanding, set an example.

批改：对漫画内容描述的很全面，但是要注意语言的连贯。

原文：This picture aims to convey that example is of great importance in our life. The primary reason is that example can empower individuals to overcome difficulties and achieve their goals. Moreover, from a social perspective, example serves as a cornerstone for a hormonious and Progressive society. Therefore, the value of example should never be underestimated.

批改：强调了榜样的作用，符合作文主题的要求

原文：on

批改：one

原文：indirduals

批改：individuals

原文：In conclusion, it is essential for us to recognize the significance of example. On the on hand, relevant authorities should promote the value of example through education. On the other hand, as indirduals we should cultivate this spirit in daily life. I firmly believe that by doing so, a brighter and more promising future awaits us.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式和语法方面，注意一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成得很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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