考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2016年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一真题话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a man, watching TV, smoking and telling his son that are doing homework alonely to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father studies hard with his son. Evidently, the cartooist intends to convey to reades that setting a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while lack of good example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, setting a good example by parent can ignite children"s creativity and nurture their souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfilment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than beind self-consuming. On the other hand, lack of good example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, setting a good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of lack of good example to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：that are

批改：表述不当，可改为who is

原文：alonely

批改：独自地应该用 alone

原文：cartooist

批改：cartoonist

原文：reades

批改：readers

原文：In the left-hand picture, there is a man, watching TV, smoking and telling his son that are doing homework alonely to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father studies hard with his son. Evidently, the cartooist intends to convey to reades that setting a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while lack of good example is the shackle that hinders progress

批改：描述漫画内容，表达个人观点，注意个别语法和拼写问题

原文：though-provoking

批改：thought-provoking

原文：parent

批改：要用复数 parents

原文：beind

批改：多余，应删除

原文：is phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, setting a good example by parent can ignite children"s creativity and nurture their souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfilment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than beind self-consuming. On the other hand, lack of good example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：论述了好榜样的意义和坏榜样的危害，注意拼写问题

原文：In brief, setting a good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of lack of good example to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：呼应论点，表达通顺 ~

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

题目要求：对漫画的描述较为全面；个人观点及论述内容切题；

语言表达：全文用了较多的模板句，仅有少量拼写错误，整体上思路清晰，表达通顺，但如果考试时需要使用模板句，记得结合题意灵活调整；

行文逻辑：第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点，第二段展开正反两面论述，第三段呼应上文总结全文，架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；继续积累经典句式并灵活使用；注意拼写的准确性；

这篇完成得比较好，继续保持~

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