考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2013年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

Graphically depicted in the illustration are a cohort of undergraduates who are confused and anxious in the face of life crossing. What strikes me most in the cartoon is the four varied paths, including job hunting, postgraduate entrance exam, going abroad, and starting one"s own business. The caption beneath the drawing reads, " Selection",encapsulating the essence of this scene.

The depiction profoundly reflects the contemporary phenomenon:modern university students are at a fork in the road and in a dilemma, especially in choosing which path they will take. Due to the refinement of technology and the richness of the material world, the selection diversity influences a multitude of students to seriously consider what they desire to do. However, in reality, there are many students with various characteristics, some who like academic research will select becoming a postgraduate to learn more knowledge and expertise. Others who enjoy visiting different countries and experiencing multicultural exchanges will go abroad. Besides, whichever path you choose, as contemporary youths, we should aim at and persevere in our goals, laying the solid foundation for the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation.

In a nutshell, we should listen more to our hearts, and by no means should we follow others.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：aphically depicted in the illustration are a cohort of undergraduates who are confused and anxious in the face of life crossing. What strikes me most in the cartoon is the four varied paths, including job hunting, postgraduate entrance exam, going abroad, and starting one"s own business. The caption beneath the drawing reads, " Selection",encapsulating the essence of this scene.

批改：开篇的倒装句使用得非常出色，成功吸引了读者的注意力。你对漫画核心要素的抓取也很准确。

原文：postgraduate en

批改：建议补充为 “taking the postgraduate entrance exam”。

原文：he depiction profoundly reflects the contemporary phenomenon:modern university students are at a fork in the road and in a dilemma, especially in choosing which path they will take. Due to the refinement of technology and the richness of the material world, the selection diversity influences a multitude of students to seriously consider what they desire to do. However, in reality, there are many students with various characteristics, some who like academic research will select becoming a postgraduate to learn more knowledge and expertise. Others who enjoy visiting different countries and experiencing multicultural exchanges will go abroad. Besides, whichever path you choose, as contemporary youths, we should aim at and persevere in our goals, laying the solid foundation for the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation.

批改：本段从现象描述、原因分析到举例论证，思路开阔，并能将个人选择与国家发展相联系，体现了很强的思维层次感。

原文：tshell, we should listen more to our hearts, and by no means should we follow o

批改：结论简洁有力，使用倒装句强调了核心观点，回扣了主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18分

同学，这篇作文非常出色——结构清晰，逻辑完整，立意高远。你能够将个人选择与时代背景、国家发展相联系的宏观视野，是文章最大的亮点。

这里有两个建议：

精炼逻辑衔接，让论证如行云流水：在段落内部和观点之间，有意识地使用更精准、多样的逻辑连接词。例如，在分析原因时，用“As society evolves, it offers...”来替代“Due to...”，能使因果关系更直接有力。在从举例转向结论时，用“The key, however, lies not in..., but in...”来衔接，能使论述的转折更自然。

在掌握高级词汇的同时，要更加关注词语的搭配和使用语境。例如，“select”后面接“to do”更常见；“listen to one"s heart”很生动，但在议论文中，“follow one"s aspiration”或“make an introspective choice”会显得更正式。

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