思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2011年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there are two tourists, enjoying the scenery and throwing garbage into the water, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and formost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the importance of protecting the environment .What is more ,neglecting environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and strenthing self-discipline. With the support of these measures ,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the picture, there are two tourists, enjoying the scenery and throwing garbage into the water, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:formost
批改:foremost
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and formost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the importance of protecting the environment .What is more ,neglecting environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:strenthing
批改:strengthening
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and strenthing self-discipline. With the support of these measures ,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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