一篇高分的考研英语大作文,常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2010年考研英语一批改范例,每一段都体现了这三大要素,启航教育考研英语一写作冲刺教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a hot pot, boiling many cultures, which come from world. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to reads that it is the integration of cultures that come from eastern and western that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, the integration of different cultures can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful. What is more, the integration of cultures that come from eastern and western holds exceptiond significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.
In brief, the integration of cultures that come from western and eastern is the cartalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life, build a more harmonious society and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: come from world
批改:which come from world 缺少冠词,应为 from around the world 或 from all over the world
原文: reads
批改:reads 是动词,此处应为名词 readers
原文:cultures that come from eastern and western
批改: eastern and western 是形容词,不能直接作宾语。应改为名词形式 the East and the West 或 Eastern and Western cultures
原文:play
批改:“it is...that play” 改为 “it is...that plays”(强调句型中谓语动词与被强调部分 “integration” 保持一致) 可参照:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers the message that the integration of Eastern and Western cultures plays an important and positive role in both our personal lives and society.
批改:在描述和点题功能上完整,但语法错误较为集中和严重,影响了第一印象
原文:exceptiond
批改:“exceptiond”→“exceptional”
原文:the integration of cultures that come from eastern and western
批改: 重复与啰嗦 - 这个表达在第一段已经出现,这里再次使用显得重复和累赘。应使用代词(this integration)或同义替换(this cultural convergence)来避免重复,况且 形容词词性的错误使用在这里又重复了一遍。 参照:What is more, this cultural convergence holds exceptional significance for a nation.
原文: that come from western and eastern
批改:错误重现。
原文:cartalyst
批改:cartalyst 是错误拼写,正确拼写是 catalyst
原文:this practice
批改: “such cultural integration”,指代更精准
批改:总结有力,能使用高级句式(倒装句),功能实现得很好。有个别拼写错误。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20 分
总评:本文结构完整,紧扣主题,成功构建了“描述-阐释-评论”的经典三段式框架。论证层次清晰,能从个人与社会两个层面展开,并使用了强调句、倒装句等高级句式。然而,文章在语法准确性、词汇拼写及表达地道性方面存在较多问题,严重影响了最终得分。
备考建议:1. 建立语法错误清单:针对本文暴露的强调句结构混乱、主谓不一致、冠词缺失等核心语法弱点,进行专项复习与练习。2. 强化词汇深度记忆:不仅要记住单词释义,更要掌握其拼写、词性和固定搭配,建立自己的“易错词本”,定期复习。3. 进行精细化仿写:背诵历年真题范文时,应重点关注其介词使用、动词搭配和句子连接方式,并进行仿写,从而提升表达的地道性。4. 强制预留审校时间:养成在写作后通篇检查的习惯,重点排查单复数、时态、冠词和拼写等基础但易错的环节。注意细节错误修正以后,你的作文质量会更高,加油!
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