考研英语一2011年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2011年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are some tourists siting on a boat and taking out the trash in lake. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, tragically，although the lack of behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit interests, have disregarded the virtue of protect environment. On the other hand, protect environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health and shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

How can we put an end to the problem of protect environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including enhancing supervision and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strenghten self-discipline. With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：siting

批改：sitting

原文：taking out

批改：throwing

原文：protect

批改：protecting动名词做主语

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are some tourists siting on a boat and taking out the trash in lake. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：protect

批改：of是介词，后加protecting

原文：protect

批改：protecting

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, tragically，although the lack of behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit interests, have disregarded the virtue of protect environment. On the other hand, protect environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health and shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：protect environment

批改：问题应该是环境污染，改成environment pollution

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of protect environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including enhancing supervision and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strenghten self-discipline. With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：该段再次总结强调写作的中心，起到了点题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意动名词才能做主语以及介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2011年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文范文冲刺保驾护航。