考研英语一2011年大作文写作方向与示例

作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一大作文常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a couple of people are sitting on tha boat and putting rubbish in the river with so many rubbish. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways, but two of them are particalarly significant. First and foremost, environment pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its intenational image.What is more, tragically although the lack of clear rules and regulation might contribute to this phenomena, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of echomic interests, have dieregarded to protect environment.

How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhancing supervision and issuing related laws.But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen moral education. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：there is a couple of p

批改：there is a couple of people are sitting...：这是一个非常典型的句式杂糅错误，同时使用了There be句型和主谓结构。应改为 There are a couple of people sitting... 或 A couple of people are sitting...。

原文： tha

批改：tha 拼写错误，应为 the。

原文：with so many rubbis

批改：with so many rubbish：rubbish是不可数名词，不能用many修饰，应改为 with a lot of/lots of rubbish。同时，putting rubbish... with so many rubbish 表意重复，可以优化为 adding to the large amount of rubbish already in the river。

原文：s shown in the cartoon, there is a couple of people are sitting on tha boat and putting rubbish in the river with so many rubbish. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：你准确地概括了漫画的核心动作和寓意，做到了内容与形式的统一。主要问题在于句子结构的完整性与名词的可数

原文：thought-provking

批改：thought-provking 拼写错误，应为 thought-provoking。

原文： particalarly

批改：particalarly 拼写错误，应为 particularly。

原文： intenational im

批改：intenational 拼写错误，应为 international。

原文： regulation

批改：regulation：通常使用复数 regulations

原文：is phenomena

批改：this phenomena：phenomena 是复数，应改为单数 this phenomenon。

原文： echomic

批改：echomic 拼写错误，应为 economic

原文：ave dieregarde

批改：dieregarded to protect：固定搭配错误，disregard 后应接动名词或名词，改为 have disregarded protecting the environment 或 have disregarded environmental protection。

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways, but two of them are particalarly significant. First and foremost, environment pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its intenational image.What is more, tragically although the lack of clear rules and regulation might contribute to this phenomena, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of echomic interests, have dieregarded to protect environment.

批改：本段的论证结构非常清晰，从“对国家发展的阻碍”和“规则缺失与利益驱动”两个层面展开，逻辑层层递进，思想有深度。特别是“a heavy chain”的比喻，用得很出彩。然而，密集的拼写和搭配错误严重拖累了你的论证

原文：an we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhancing supervision and issuing related laws.But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen moral education. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its co

批改：你通过设问引出解决方案，并提出了“一揽子方案”包括法律监管和道德教育，考虑全面，结尾也很有力。这体现了你解决问题的思考能力。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9分

这篇作文的立意、结构和论证深度都非常出色，完全有潜力冲击高分。你能够运用比喻、设问等修辞手法，并且论证逻辑严密，这非常难得。

当前，阻碍你获得更高分数的最主要、最紧迫的问题，是词汇的拼写和固定搭配的准确性问题。

给你的提升建议：

建立“个人错词库”：请立即将你在写作中反复拼错的词（如：environmental, particularly, international, economic, phenomenon）整理到一个本子上，进行集中攻克和反复默写。

巩固动词搭配：专门记忆常用动词的固定搭配，比如 disregard doing sth., aim to do sth., contribute to sth. 等。

写完后的检查：在完成内容后，不要急着交卷。请专门留出3-5分钟，不做任何内容修改，只做一件事：逐词检查拼写和动词搭配。这会帮你挽回大量分数。

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