启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调:词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词,是考研英语一作文真题写作锦囊中的代表性范文。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there are two travelers, sitting on the boat and throwing the rubbish in the river., which pollute the river。Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that pollution is an issue that requires our high attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, Neglecting environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. What is more, Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic growth, have disregarded the virtue of integrity.
How can we put an end to the problem of pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issue related laws and strengthen moral education. But would the measures be comprehensive enough? In reality we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:pollute
批改:which指代的是前面这件事,pollutes单三
原文:As shown in the picture, there are two travelers, sitting on the boat and throwing the rubbish in the river., which pollute the river。Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that pollution is an issue that requires our high attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:Neglecting
批改:逗号后的单词小写
原文:Tragically
批改:小写
原文:integrity
批改:单词选取错误,改成environment protection
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, Neglecting environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. What is more, Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic growth, have disregarded the virtue of integrity.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:issue
批改:including是介词,改成issuing
原文:strengthen
批改:strengthening
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issue related laws and strengthen moral education. But would the measures be comprehensive enough? In reality we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意逗号后的单词首字母小写;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意非限定从中的主谓一致问题,以及介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
对每一位2027考研人而言,考研英语一作文真题都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分,本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育,了解更多考研英语备考干货。
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