考研英语一2017年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2017年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left picture, there is a man sitting in front of his bookshelf and saying that he has many books, but not to read. On the contrary, in the right picture, there is another man reading book and determining to finish reading 20 books. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while all talk but no action is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in morden life full of changes, chances and challenges, action earnestly has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What’s more, neglecting action is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress. leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

In brief, action is the catalyst of societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of no action to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：but not to read

批改：缺少主语和谓语，将 “but not to read” 改为 “but he doesn’t read them”

原文：In the left picture, there is a man sitting in front of his bookshelf and saying that he has many books, but not to read. On the contrary, in the right picture, there is another man reading book and determining to finish reading 20 books. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while all talk but no action is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：morden

批改：modern

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in morden life full of changes, chances and challenges, action earnestly has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What’s more, neglecting action is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress. leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：,

批改：；

原文：In brief, action is the catalyst of societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of no action to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式和语法方面，要注意句子结构的完整，不要缺少成分。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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