作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一作文真题常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are two people sitting on the boat, enjoying the secenry and throwing rubbish into the river, which make the river very dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protecting environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our peosonal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, protecting environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping nation morals, further profeling social stability and sustainable development. On the other hand, Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of convenience, have disregarded the virtue of protecting environment.
How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal including issuing related laws and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline and foster the quality of protecting environment deliberately. With the support of these mensures we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:secenry
批改:scenery
原文:make
批改:which指代前面扔垃圾这件事,是单数,因此make改成makes
原文:peosonal
批改:personal
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are two people sitting on the boat, enjoying the secenry and throwing rubbish into the river, which make the river very dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protecting environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our peosonal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
批改:逗号
原文:nation
批改:nation’s
原文:profeling
批改:propelling
原文:Tragically
批改:逗号后面单词首字母小写
原文:This phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, protecting environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping nation morals, further profeling social stability and sustainable development. On the other hand, Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of convenience, have disregarded the virtue of protecting environment.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal including issuing related laws and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline and foster the quality of protecting environment deliberately. With the support of these mensures we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意主谓一致问题。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的比较认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好,要注意一句话没说完用逗号,逗号后面的单词首字母小写。继续加油。
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