正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2013年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
The cartoon provides us with a thought- provoking scene: on the left of the picture, a host of graduates, doubtful as well as puzzled, standing on the way. There are many different choice in front of them, like go abroad, search job, pass the undergraduate examination and so on. The intended meaning of the drawing is quite evident: at no time should the folking underestimate the significance of doing the correct choice.
There exist plenty of causes accounting for my opinion in various aspects. First of all, for instance, my roommat,Martin, is favorite of our major knowledge. He selects to pass the undergraduate examination to be a undergraduate, which brings him more chance to learn prior knowledge. During this period, we all admire him. Furthermore, a rising number of individuals are coming to redization that the all-round development is strongly dependent on the correct choice for the graduates. In the end, if we ignore the importance of the choice for graduates, our society and nation would confront with an unpromising and fruitless future.
To sum up, by no means should we give up our efforts to get the correct choice for graduate. It is imperative for the authorities to make some laws to help graduates to learn how to select the correct choice. In this way, hopefully, we may have a better futher.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:cartoon provides us with a thought- provoking scene: on the left of the picture, a host of graduates, doubtful as well as puzzled, standing on the way. There are many different choice in front of them, like go abroad, search job, pass the undergraduate examination and so on. The intended meaning of the drawing is quite evident: at no time should the folking underestimate the significance of doing the correct choice.
批改:你开篇点出漫画“引人深思”,并用“at no time should...”的倒装句强调主题,这个结构用得非常好,体现了你对复杂句式的追求。
原文:here exist plenty of causes accounting for my opinion in various aspects. First of all, for instance, my roommat,Martin, is favorite of our major knowledge. He selects to pass the undergraduate examination to be a undergraduate, which brings him more chance to learn prior knowledge. During this period, we all admire him. Furthermore, a rising number of individuals are coming to redization that the all-round development is strongly dependent on the correct choice for the graduates. In the end, if we ignore the importance of the choice for graduates, our society and nation would confront with an unpromising and fruitless future.
批改:本段的结构很清晰,从“个人案例”到“普遍认知”再到“社会影响”,层层递进,思路非常棒!用身边同学的例子来论证,也让观点更亲切
原文:sum up, by no means should we give up our efforts to get the correct choice for graduate. It is imperative for the authorities to make some laws to help graduates to learn how to select the correct choice. In this way, hopefully, we may have a better futher.
批改:结尾段再次使用倒装句“By no means...”来强调观点,很好地呼应了开头,这个技巧值得肯定!你提出的建议方向也很好。
原文:for graduate. It is imperative for the authorities to make some laws to help graduates to learn ho
批改:for graduate -> for graduates (注意名词复数) futher -> future (拼写调整)
原文:pass the
批改:pass the undergraduate examination -> pursue postgraduate studies (你提到的“考研”是研究生入学考试,正确说法是postgraduate entrance exam,而“成为一名本科生”是become an undergraduate,这里逻辑是“成为研究生”,所以是postgraduate)
原文: a undergraduate, which brings him more chance to learn prior knowledge. During this period, we all admire him. Furthermore, a rising number of individuals are coming to redization that the all-round development is strongly dependent on the correct choice for the graduates. In the end, if we ignore the importance of the choice for graduates, our society and nation would confront with an unpromis
批改:a undergraduate -> a postgraduate (同上,注意冠词"a"用于辅音音素开头的单词前) redization -> realization confront with -> confront (或 be confronted with, “confront”是及物动词,直接接宾语)
原文:oomm
批改:roommat -> roommate
原文:any different choic
批改:many different choice -> many different choices (注意名词复数)
原文:ke go abroad, search job, p
批改:such as going abroad, seeking employment, or taking postgraduate entrance exams (举例时,like后面的成分要保持语法形式一致,都用动名词)
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
同学,你的这篇作文展现了清晰的写作思路和良好的潜力!
夯实语言基础:建议集中梳理和巩固一些核心的语法点,比如名词的单复数、动词的固定搭配(如make a choice)。可以准备一个笔记本,专门积累阅读中遇到的地道表达。
提升例证质量:在举例子时,可以多问自己一句“这个例子如何具体地证明了观点?”,补充一两个细节,说服力会大增。
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