考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2016年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father watching TV and asking his son to study well. On the contrary, in the right-hand protrayal, another father and his son are studying together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are

the brushes that paint a bright future, while negative examples are the shackles that hinder progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the influence of parents"

positive example is one that should never be ignored as it is a

crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, negative example is like a heavy chain

that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative

outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we

should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the left-hand cartoon, there is a father watching TV and asking his son to study well. On the contrary, in the right-hand protrayal, another father and his son are studying together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brushes that paint a bright future, while negative examples are the shackles that hinder progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

批改：逗号

原文： phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the influence of parents" positive example is one that should never be ignored as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, negative example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：n brief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：该段再次总结强调写作的中心，起到了点题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯，要正确使用标点断句；语法方面，语法基础很好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬，继续加油。

本文展示的2016年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。