2019年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2019年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the variety of choices about graduate in 2013 and 2018 at a certain university .In 2013, the percentage of getting a job was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had gradually decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of entering a higher school experienced significant increase to 7.7% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of starting business remained stable and steady.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be sumnarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes," On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense adademic pessure, and as a result, getting a job has emerged as their significant choice in the future. In addition to, an inceasing number of young people believe that in mordern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, entering a higher school and strating business is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about furture tends? I am confident that the proportion of entering a higher school will steadily incease in the follow decades. In contrast, the proportion of getting a job will likely continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：about graduate

批改：about graduate → 不符合搭配。 应为 by graduates（表示“毕业生做出的选择”）或 of graduates。

原文：variety of choices

批改：variety of choices 可接受，但 academic 英语里更自然的表达是 different career choices 或 post-graduation choices，更贴合图表语境。

原文：the percentage of getting a job

批改：the percentage of getting a job 用法不自然，通常说 the percentage of graduates who got a job。

原文：had gradually decreased

批改：had gradually decreased 时态不当。这里没有“过去的过去”，应为 gradually decreased。

原文： proportion of entering a higher school

批改：proportion of entering a higher school 表达不自然；应为 the proportion of students pursuing further education。

原文：experienced significant increase

批改：experienced significant increase 缺冠词，应为 a significant increase。

原文：of starting business

批改：of starting business 语法错误，应为 of those starting their own business。

原文：stable and steady.

批改：stable and steady 意义重复，只需一个。

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be sumnarized as follows.

批改：sumnarized → 拼写错误，应为 summarized。 此外 “the observed phenomenon” 可简化为 “this trend” 更自然。

原文： To start with, as the saying goes," On life"s stage, pressure is always present."

批改：句子本身正确，但与主题联系较弱。建议在后句补充“这种压力导致学生选择就业或升学”的衔接语句。可扩写为：As the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present,” which vividly reflects the reality faced by today’s college graduates.

原文：Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense adademic pessure, and as a result, getting a job has emerged as their significant choice in the future.

批改：adademic → academic；pessure → pressure。 拼写错误。 significant choice in the future 不自然。英语里不会说 “a significant choice in the future”，更自然的是 “main option after graduation”。 has emerged as 语法没错，但 “in the future” 与现在完成时矛盾。 修改：Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, finding a job has become their main option after graduation.

原文：In addition to, an inceasing number of young people believe that in mordern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, entering a higher school and strating business is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.

批改：In addition to, 用错。应为 In addition,（后面不要 to）。 inceasing → increasing; mordern → modern; strating → starting。 entering a higher school 不自然，应为 pursuing further education。 chances 在此语境中用 opportunities 更自然。 is indispensable 主语复数，应为 are indispensable。

原文：Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：

原文：What about furture tends? I am confident that the proportion of entering a higher school will steadily incease in the follow decades. In contrast, the proportion of getting a job will likely continue to decrease.

批改：furture tends → future trends；incease → increase；follow → following。 拼写错误三处。 the proportion of entering a higher school 同样应为 the proportion of students pursuing further education。 the proportion of getting a job 不自然，应为 the proportion of those finding employment。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/15

1. 题目要求：

你的作文总体符合考研英语二大作文要求，能够围绕图表进行描述、分析和预测。结构完整，段落安排合理。但数据对比表达略显单薄，缺乏明显的逻辑衔接词，如 while, in comparison with, by contrast 等。建议在首段多用对比结构（e.g., While the employment rate fell, the proportion of further study rose significantly.）让描述更紧凑。

2. 语言表达：

语言表达基本清晰，但存在多处拼写与搭配错误。部分表达不自然。句式以简单句为主，缺乏复合句或连接词来提升表达层次。整体语气较正式，符合学术写作要求。

3. 内容层面：

能够针对趋势提出合理解释与预测，但分析略显笼统，与图表数据结合不够紧密。第二段引用 “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” 虽增加文采，但与主题衔接较弱。预测部分表达清晰，但理由可以更充分，如增加 “as the job market becomes increasingly competitive” 等背景性说明。

4. 修改建议：在首段补充创业比例的具体数值，并使用更多对比结构让趋势更鲜明。改进拼写与词汇搭配，注意表达自然度。在原因分析部分加强数据与现象的逻辑联系，使论证更有针对性。使用更多复合句或连接词（例如 since, as a result, consequently）提高句式多样性和连贯性。

继续加油，期待看到你的下一篇～

对2019年考研英语二大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。