本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2021年考研英语一大作文高分范例,并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧,是考研英语学习的高价值内容。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing cosplay clothes and saying to his father, "Daddy, many students feel not funny that studying song, while this father says ," You like is enough. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to what you like that plays a positive and important role both in personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modem society full of changes, chances and challenges, stick to what you like has become a key factor that distinguished exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, neglecting stick to what you like is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining bright in future society.
In brief, stick to what you like is the catalyst for personal and societal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore ,we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:feel not funny
批改:中式表达,改成“don’t feel funny”
原文:You like is enough.
批改:中式表达,改成“As long as you like it, that’s enough.”
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing cosplay clothes and saying to his father, "Daddy, many students feel not funny that studying song, while this father says ," You like is enough. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to what you like that plays a positive and important role both in personal lives and in society.
批改:对图画中的细节描述的很全面,但是要避免语言错误。
原文:modem
批改:modern
原文:stick
批改:动名词做主语,改成sticking
原文:distinguished
批改:现在时distinguishes
原文:stick
批改:改成非谓语to stick
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modem society full of changes, chances and challenges, stick to what you like has become a key factor that distinguished exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, neglecting stick to what you like is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining bright in future society.
批改:能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点,能够运用逻辑关系词,使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。
原文:stick
批改:sticking
原文:n brief, stick to what you like is the catalyst for personal and societal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore ,we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式方面和语法方面,注意避免中式英语,动词不能做主语,要改成动名词,以及要注意非谓语的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
本文精解的2021年考研英语一范文,在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点,对着薄弱点学提升更快,是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约,免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。
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