考研英语二2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语二批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语二作文范文核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie chart clearly displays the percentage of survey about one college student"s travel purpose. Enjoying the landscape takes the lead at 37%, followed by relieving pressure at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, developing independence and-so on are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15%.

The core reason for the phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with，in modern society full of changes chages and challenges, a great life habit is indispensiable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the saying goes, pressure is always present.", students are compelled to confront immese academic pressure, as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant utilizing for leisure time. Finally, the outbreak of COVID-19 has changed people’s behaviours and chooses, an increasing number of people paying more attention to healthy including heart healthy.

What about the future trends? I"m confident that the above figures turthfully reflect the student"s choices and will likely remain stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：one college student"s tr

批改：one college student"s travel purpose -> the travel purposes of college students (调查对象是大学生群体，而非单个学生)

原文：e pie chart clearly displays the percentage of survey about one college student"s travel purpose. Enjoying the landscape takes the lead at 37%, followed by relieving pressure at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, developing independence and-so on are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15%.

批改：本段准确地列出了所有数据，并清晰地呈现了主要趋势，很好地完成了图表描述的核心任务

原文： core reason for the phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with，in modern society full of changes chages and chall

批改：The core reason -> The core reasons (后文提及多个原因，应用复数) changes chages -> changes and challenges (拼写重复错误)

原文：ont immese

批改：immese -> immense (拼写错误)

原文：ignificant utilizing for leisure time. Finally, the outbreak of COVID-19 has changed people’s behaviours and ch

批改：significant utilizing -> significant way of utilizing (utilizing是动名词，需加way等名词) behaviours and chooses -> behaviors and choices (拼写错误)

原文：aying more attention to he

批改：paying more attention to healthy including heart healthy -> paying more attention to health, including heart health (词性错误，healthy是形容词，此处应用名词health)

原文：e core reason for the phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with，in modern society full of changes chages and challenges, a great life habit is indispensiable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the saying goes, pressure is always present.", students are compelled to confront immese academic pressure, as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant utilizing for leisure time. Finally, the outbreak of COVID-19 has changed people’s behaviours and chooses, an increasing number of people paying more attention to healthy including heart healthy.

批改：本段尝试从多个角度分析原因，但逻辑的清晰度和相关性是主要问题。第一个论点（生活习惯）需要更直接地与旅游挂钩；第二个和第三个论点（压力、健康）与图表数据（缓解压力、欣赏风景）相关，但表达中的语法和拼写错误削弱了说服力。需要建立更直接、清晰的因果关系。

原文：s turthfully

批改：turthfully -> truthfully (拼写错误)

原文：ent"s choices a

批改：the student"s choices -> students" choices (指代全体学生，应用复数所有格students")

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

这篇作文显示出你对图表作文的基本框架掌握得很好，能够准确描述数据并组织起完整的文章结构，这是非常关键的一步。

1. 语言方面：

能够运用一些复杂的句式结构，这很好。当前的主要挑战在于语言的精准度，包括拼写错误（immese, turthfully）、词性混淆（healthy/health）和语法错误（逗号粘连）。这些细节的失误会影响文章的整体。建议在写作后预留时间进行专项检查。

2. 结构方面：

三段式结构非常清晰。在内容上，可以着力提升论述的“相关性”与“深度”。第二段的第一个论点（生活习惯）与图表现象的关联不够直接，显得有些空泛。好的论述应确保每一个原因都能紧密、直接地解释图表中的数据。

总的修改建议：

精准用词，仔细校对：请重点检查高频词汇的拼写和词性。建立自己的“易错词清单”会非常有效。

在提出任何一个原因时，都问自己：“这个原因是如何直接导致学生选择某一种旅游目的的？”这能帮助筛选掉关联性不强的论点。

优化句式结构：注意避免“逗号粘连”这类语法错误，确保句子之间的连接合乎语法规则。

2016年考研英语二大作文是考研英语二作文范文常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。