考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

2011年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon,there are two tourists,sitting in the ship and throwing the rubbish into the river,with the uncivilized behavior.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that throwing the rubbish is an issue the requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of civilization is one that should never lose it"s luster,as it is an essentials bond that is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.On the other hand,uncivilization can harm relationships,erode trust and respect,and cause the loss of opportunities and resources.It can also damage personal image and reputation,leading to exlusion and failure in work and society situations.

How can we put an end to the problem of throwing the rubbish?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including enhancing supervision and forstering the virtue of civilization deliberately.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to help students cultivate more rational values.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at it"s core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon,there are two tourists,sitting in the ship and throwing the rubbish into the river,with the uncivilized behavior.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that throwing the rubbish is an issue the requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：对图画内容描述的很全面，且能够清晰点明主题。

原文：essentials

批改：essential

原文：that is

批改：改成and

原文：society

批改：social形容词

原文：This phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of civilization is one that should never lose it"s luster,as it is an essentials bond that is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.On the other hand,uncivilization can harm relationships,erode trust and respect,and cause the loss of opportunities and resources.It can also damage personal image and reputation,leading to exlusion and failure in work and society situations

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of throwing the rubbish?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including enhancing supervision and forstering the virtue of civilization deliberately.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to help students cultivate more rational values.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at it"s core.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误以及注意区分词性；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意正确使用从句。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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