考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2011年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一真题话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon,there is a girl,sitting on the boat,and throwing rubbish into the lake, which is cause water pollution .This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serval ways,but two of them are particularly significant .

First and foremost,this is impolite behavior .What is more,this behavior will cause water pollution and make bad effects on others,it also can make natural damage.

How can we put an end to the problem of natural pollution ?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including enhance regulation ,and clear the environment .But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality ,we also need to raise our values to protect our natural environment.With the support of these measures ,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：is cause

批改：出现两个谓语，去掉is，cause改成causes

原文：serval

批改：several

原文：As shown in the cartoon,there is a girl,sitting on the boat,and throwing rubbish into the lake, which is cause water pollution .This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serval ways,but two of them are particularly significant .

批改：对图画中的细节描述的较为全面，但是要避免语言错误。

原文：it

批改：前加and连接两个并列分句

原文：First and foremost,this is impolite behavior .What is more,this behavior will cause water pollution and make bad effects on others,it also can make natural damage.

批改：该段落论述内容较少

原文：enhance

批改：including是介词，改成enhancing

原文：clear

批改：protecting

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of natural pollution ?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including enhance regulation ,and clear the environment .But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality ,we also need to raise our values to protect our natural environment.With the support of these measures ,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，注意两个并列分句用连接词连接；语法方面，注意一句话只能有一个谓语以及介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误，此外，内容建议增加，尤其第二段的论述内容明显过少。继续加油。

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