作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2021年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二作文范文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the way to physical exercise of residents in a city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise with family and group activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards of life have undergone significant changes. People are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, people of all ages, are compelled to confront immense different pressure, and as a result, exercise alone and exercise with friends have emerged as their significant choice for ubilizing leisure time, rather than exercising with family or participating in group activities.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and trutifully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: to
批改:of
原文:Exercise
批改:Exercising 动名词做主语
原文:exercise
批改:exercising
原文:exercise
批改:exercising
原文:The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the way to physical exercise of residents in a city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise with family and group activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文: of
批改:删除
原文:exercise
批改:exercising
原文:exercise
批改:exercising
原文:ubilizing
批改:utilizing
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards of life have undergone significant changes. People are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, people of all ages, are compelled to confront immense different pressure, and as a result, exercise alone and exercise with friends have emerged as their significant choice for ubilizing leisure time, rather than exercising with family or participating in group activities.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:trutifully
批改:truthfully
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and trutifully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
语法:语言表达和语法基础上,进步的空间还很大。比如本次作文中出现多次的单词拼写错误等问题,会很拉低你的平均分。另外还需要注意一些基础的语法问题和表达搭配问题,有时间好好看看文中的批改,细心吸收,争取在接下来的练习中避免类似的错误。
首段总体概括图表主题,呈现各锻炼方式的占比数据,突出独自锻炼占比最高这一核心特征。第二段原因分析,可从现代生活节奏快、个人时间安排灵活、社交网络有限等角度展开。第三段可结合当前趋势,合理推测未来锻炼方式的发展方向,如独自锻炼可能持续流行,同时建议增加家庭和团体锻炼以促进社交与健康。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
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