2021年考研英语一大作文真题与例文批改

2021年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一写作技巧常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As it shown in this picture, There was a child, wearing a suit of performance custom, complained to his father that many classmates of him had thought that it was not fun to studyng opera, while his father pursuade him that it"s sufficient to learn what you prefer. Obviously, this thought-provoking picture conveys us that the essential of insisting interests.

The picture has depicted some reasons below. To begin with, the interests provide us a stage to the life success, make our lives meaningful. While the lack of interests will take us fall into the hell of life vacuum. What"s more, the adequate interests is a path, which instruct our growth and ensure it under control. Last but not the least, the interests will abundant ourselves, keep our psychological health and provide the erosion of social noice which is full of power and property.

In conclusion, The father"s attitude is inspiring and positive. We ought to construct our personal lifestyle and make our life colourful.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As it shown in this picture

批改：存在语法错误，“as it shown”表述有误，正确的是“as is shown”。

原文：There was a child, wearing a suit of performance custom, complained to his father that many classmates of him had thought that it was not fun to studyng opera

批改：此句问题较多。“a suit of performance custom”表述错误，推测想表达“a performance costume”；“complained”前不应该用逗号连接，这里句子结构混乱；“studyng”拼写错误，应为“studying”；“many classmates of him”表述不准确，可改为“many of his classmates”。

原文： while his father pursuade him that it"s sufficient to learn what you prefer.

批改：“pursuade”拼写错误，应为“persuade”；“what you prefer”时态和人称与前文不匹配，前文是孩子向父亲倾诉，这里父亲回应，用“what he prefers”更合适。

原文：Obviously, this thought-provoking picture conveys us that the essential of insisting interests.

批改：“conveys us”表述错误，应是“conveys to us”

原文：The picture has depicted some reasons below.

批改：表述较奇怪，“has depicted”和“below”搭配不当，可改为“The picture depicts the following reasons”。

原文：To begin with, the interests provide us a stage to the life success, make our lives meaningful.

批改：“provide us a stage to the life success”表述错误，应是“provide us with a stage for life success”

原文：While the lack of interests will take us fall into the hell of life vacuum.

批改：“take us fall into”表述错误，应是“make us fall into”或者“lead us to fall into”。

原文：What"s more, the adequate interests is a path, which instruct our growth and ensure it under control.

批改：“the adequate interests is”主谓不一致，应是“adequate interests are”；“instruct”用词不当，可改为“guide”；“ensure it under control”表述不通顺，可改为“ensure it is under control”。

原文：ast but not the least, the interests will abundant ourselves, keep our psychological health and provide the erosion of social noice which is full of power and property.

批改：“abundant”是形容词，不能作谓语，应是“enrich”；“provide the erosion of social noice”表述错误，推测想表达“protect us from the interference of social noise”；“power and property”与语境不符，表意不明。

原文：In conclusion, The father"s attitude is inspiring and positive. We ought to construct our personal lifestyle and make our life colourful.

批改：“The”首字母不应大写

原文：As it shown in this picture, There was a child, wearing a suit of performance custom, complained to his father that many classmates of him had thought that it was not fun to studyng opera, while his father pursuade him that it"s sufficient to learn what you prefer. Obviously, this thought-provoking picture conveys us that the essential of insisting interests

批改：对图片的描述存在大量语法、拼写和表述错误，未能清晰准确地呈现图片内容，且对图片意图的理解和传达也不准确。

原文：he picture has depicted some reasons below. To begin with, the interests provide us a stage to the life success, make our lives meaningful. While the lack of interests will take us fall into the hell of life vacuum. What"s more, the adequate interests is a path, which instruct our growth and ensure it under control. Last but not the least, the interests will abundant ourselves, keep our psychological health and provide the erosion of social noice which is full of power and property

批改：试图阐述坚持兴趣的原因，但句子中存在多种语法错误、词汇搭配不当和表意不清的问题，导致段落内容混乱，无法有效表达观点。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/20

题目要求：作文对图片的描述存在严重问题。原句“As it shown in this picture, There was a child, wearing a suit of performance custom, complained to his father...”不仅存在“as it shown”这种基础语法错误，而且句子结构混乱，对图片中孩子穿着表演服装向父亲倾诉这一场景的描述不清晰、不准确，没有按照题目要求“describe the picture briefly”简洁且准确地呈现图片关键信息。文章整体篇幅较短，未达到 200 词左右的要求，内容不够丰富充实，在信息量和深度上有所欠缺。

语言表达：文中存在多处拼写错误，如“custom”应是“costume”，“pursuade”应是“persuade”，“studyng”应是“studying”，“abundant”误用为动词等。这些拼写错误严重影响了句子的准确性和可读性。

内容层面：内容完整性不足。描述图片时没有完整呈现关键信息；解释意图时出现偏差，导致后续评论方向不准确；提出的观点虽然有一定合理性，但由于前期基础错误，没有很好地与图片主题紧密结合，整体内容存在较多漏洞和不合理之处。

修改建议：仔细审题，准确理解图片所传达的信息和意图。在写作前，可以先对图片进行仔细观察和分析，明确主题和关键信息，确保文章方向正确。加油！

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