进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语二批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语二一还是考研英语二二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the market shares of certain automobiles brands in our country from 2008 to 2009.In 2008,the percentage of domestic brands was 26%,but by 2009,the rate had gradually risen to 30%.In contrast,the proportion of Japanese brands experienced a decline of 10% during the same time period.Simultaneously,the percentage of American brands remained stable and steady.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with ,our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth,and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, alllowing them to afford automobiles that were perviously deemed luxury items.Against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development,the younger generation, particularly those born in 1990s, are accustomed to using domestic automobiles and has become the primary consumer group. Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation.In my view ,the fundamental reason for the phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s manufacturing industry in responding to the changes.In the wake of the high speed advancement in society ,people’s attitudes towards domestic automobiles have undergone significant changes ,this explains why an increasing number of people choose domestic brands rather than foreign brands.
What about future trends?I am confident that the percentage of domestic brands will steaily increase in the following decades.In contrast,the proportation of American brands will likely continue to remain relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:was
批改:份额用 account for 更地道
原文: 30%.
批改:2009 值应≈31%
原文:In contrast
批改:By contrast
原文:proportion
批改:用 percentage points 表“百分点”
原文:period
批改:冗余,去掉
原文:and steady
批改:冗余删掉
原文:populace
批改:“populace”偏书面,改 more people。
原文:1990s
批改:年代前要加冠词:the 1990s
原文:high speed
批改:rapid
原文:this
批改:which
原文:steaily
批改:拼写 steadily
原文:proportation
批改:拼写 proportion
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9/15
1.题目要求:基本做到了“解读+评论+展望”,但细节不够。
2.语言表达:出现不少基础错误,想用高级表达但是使用不太自然,还需要多加练习。
3.行文逻辑:三段论逻辑基础保持
4.改进建议:考生应正视自己在语法和句意表达上的不足,应结合范文仔细剖析语言结构,做到模板应用的最优化。在行文方面应该紧扣论点,可以尝试将个人想法以中文呈现,再去用合适的/高级的英语词汇和语法进行润色。任重道远,请继续加油!
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语二大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。
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