2011年考研英语二大作文怎么写？附例文批改

考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2011年考研英语二批改范例，透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质，由启航教育老师逐段精批，可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts market rate of some brands in domestic car market in 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic brand was approximately 25%, but by 2009, the rate had risen to around 31%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese brand experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brand remained stable and steady.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufaturing industry in responding to these changes. In addition, our government has made tremedous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford automobiles that were previously deemed luxury items. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I"m confident the proption of domestic brand will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the rate of Japanese will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：market rate

批改：市场份额可以用 the market shares 表述

原文：rt clearly depicts market rate of some brands in domestic car market in 2008 and 2009.

批改：首段概括图表内容可以参考如下 “The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：approximately

批改：描述图表时运用一些小词如 approximately/nearly/around等，有利于提高表达的准确度

原文：rienced a significant decline of

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：stable and steady

批改：stable和steady意思相近，删去其中一个

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts market rate of some brands in domestic car market in 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic brand was approximately 25%, but by 2009, the rate had risen to around 31%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese brand experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brand re

批改：首段概括了图表内容，较准确地描述了图中各项数据和它们之间的变化，需要注意区分不同图表类型（柱状图/折线图/饼状图等）及应当如何描述；除此之外，丰富用词，转换词性，像decline就既可以作名词，又可以作动词，掌握一个词的不同用法有利于变换表达方式，这样文章语言也就不会那么受限了

原文：manufaturing industry

批改：可以说 manufacturing / car manufacturing / automobile industry

原文：tremedous

批改：正确写法为 tremendous

原文：the populace

批改：可以有意识地替换表达，像 people/populace 就可以用 consumer 或 resident 等各种身份去指代

原文：deemed

批改：be deemed to be “被视为...”，也可以用 be regarded as

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufaturing industry in responding to these changes. In addition, our government has made tremedous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford automobiles that were previously deemed luxury items. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：分析产生这种趋势或现象的原因，给出的第一个原因是制造业的蓬勃发展，第二个原因是经济发展，人们的购买力提升，年轻人成为国产汽车的主要消费群体。除了本段论述的国家和社会层面，建议可以拓展更多主体，还可以从企业和个人的角度入手。

原文：manufaturing

批改：正确写法为 manufacturing

原文：proption

批改：正确写法为 proportion

原文：Japanese

批改：改为 Japanese automobile brand

原文：likely

批改：删去

原文：relatively stable

批改：删去

原文：ut future trends? I"m confident the proption of domestic brand will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the rate of Japanese will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.

批改：结尾预测未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额将继续扩大，建议可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出展望或“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述较准确；

2）语言上：表达较为顺畅，用词和句型可以更丰富；

3）结构上：有自己的行文角度，但论述可以更充实；

4）学习建议：

有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升（国家）——一方面人们购买力提升（社会），另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎（市场/企业），从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心，尤其是年轻群体（个人偏好）——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升（总结）——未来将继续大力发展汽车制造业（展望+提措施），还可以结合时事热点和具体的例子进行阐述

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