正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2021年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文话题的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart above clearly shows that there is a series of date suggesting the percentage of the ways of people physical exercise in a certain city.From the statistics given, the percentage of workout alone is highest among all the chart at approximately 54.3% and the figure is followed by exercise with friends and with family reaching 47.7% and 23.9% respectively.By contrast,the date of team activities only account for the least at around 15.8%.
Actually,this seemingly simple chart subtly reveals a common phenomenon that has attracted our attention.We can attribute the phenomenon to the following aspects.To begin with,an increasing number of people believe that in modern society full of changes,challenges and chances, keep healthy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.Furthermore,as the saying goes,"On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense social pressure, and as a result, exercising alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.which could be easily achieved through.
In view of the argument above, we can conclude that the current phenomenon is of no surprise.And therefore,it can be predicted that this trend will continue in the future.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:is a series of date sug
批改:词汇与拼写:“a series of date” 中的 “date” 是“日期”的意思,表示“数据”应该用 “data”。
原文: workout alone
批改:“workout alone” 是动词短语,前面用 “the percentage of” 时,后面常接动名词,即 “working out alone”
原文:the date of team activities only account for
批改:“the date... account for” 主谓不一致,“data” 是复数概念,谓语动词应用 “account”。
原文: bar chart above clearly shows that there is a series of date suggesting the percentage of the ways of people physical exercise in a certain city.From the statistics given, the percentage of workout alone is highest among all the chart at approximately 54.3% and the figure is followed by exercise with friends and with family reaching 47.7% and 23.9% respectively.By contrast,the date of team activities only account for the least at around 15.8%.
批改:本段准确地抓住了图表中的最高值和最低值,并使用了“respectively”这样地道的词汇,数据描述很清晰。
原文:ally,this seemingly simple chart subtly reveals a common phenomenon that has attracted our attention.We can attribute the phenomenon to the following aspects.To begin with,an increasing number of people believe that in modern society full of changes,challenges and chances, keep healthy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.Furthermore,as the saying goes,"On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense social pressure, and as a result, exercising alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.which could be easily achieved through.
批改:: 本段从“健康意识”和“社会压力”两个角度展开分析,逻辑清晰
原文:, keep healthy is indispe
批改:“keep healthy is indispensable” 中,“keep” 是动词,不能直接作主语,应改为动名词形式 “keeping healthy”。
原文:which could be eas
批改:...which could be easily achieved through.” 这是一个不完整的句子, “through” 后面缺少宾语,导致句意不完整。可以改为 “...which could be easily achieved without coordinating with others.”
原文: view of the argument above, we can conclude that the current phenomenon is of no surprise.And therefore,it can be predicted that this trend will continue in the future.
批改: 结尾段简洁地总结了上文并预测了趋势,很好地完成了任务。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分
总体评分与建议
总评
内容要点:涵盖了所有关键数据,并对现象背后的原因进行了有层次的探讨。
语言运用:能使用“subtly reveals", "compelled to confront", "emerge as"等高级词汇和复杂句型,亮点不少。主要问题在于个别句子成分不完整和主谓一致等细节。
连贯与衔接:使用“To begin with", "Furthermore"等衔接词,段落内部逻辑流畅。
修改建议
追求句子的完整:写完每个句子后,在心里默读一遍,确保它结构完整、主谓一致。比如检查“data”后是否跟了复数动词,从句的意思是否说全了。
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