一篇高分的考研英语大作文,常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2019年考研英语二批改范例,每一段都体现了这三大要素,启航教育考研英语二作文真题教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts different choices of undergraduates at a certain university in 2013 and 2018. In 2013, the percentage of undergraduates who chose employment was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of undergraduates who chose further education experienced a significant increase of 7.7% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of undergraduates who chose to make their own corporations remained stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our governoment has made tremendous effort to build a sound education system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, undergraduates are compelled to confront immense employment pressure, and a result, further education has emerged as their significant choice. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion to undergraduates who chose further education will steadly increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of undergraduates who chose to make their own corporations will likely continue to remain relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he bar chart clearly depicts different choices of undergraduates at a certain university in 2013 and 2018. In 2013, the percentage of undergraduates who chose employment was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of undergraduates who chose further education experienced a significant increase of 7.7% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of undergraduates who chose to make their own corporations remained stable and steady.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our governoment has made tremendous effort to build a sound education system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, undergraduates are compelled to confront immense employment pressure, and a result, further education has emerged as their significant choice. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:to
批改:of
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion to undergraduates who chose further education will steadly increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of undergraduates who chose to make their own corporations will likely continue to remain relatively stable.
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
原文:chose
批改:这里描述的是未来的数据预测,不用过去式,建议改为 choose
原文: chose
批改:建议改为 choose
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13 /15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
首段总体概括图表主题,详细列出关键数据变化,突出就业比例下降、升学比例上升的趋势;第二段分析原因,可从政府鼓励深造、社会就业压力增大、学生追求自我实现等方面进行论述;第三段评论与展望,预测未来趋势可能持续,并强调其对个人和社会发展的积极意义。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
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