2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语二批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentages breakdown of the methods of physical exercise for citizens at a certain city. Exercising solely takes the lead at 54.3%, following by doing exercise with friends. Additionally, doing sports with family numbers and making a team to exercise are also concidered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the drive of the changes, our government has made trmendous efforts to build ample facilties and devices about sports, encouraging people to exercise and enjoying the healthy lifes. What is more, as the saying goes, "Pressure is part and parcel in the journey of lives". Nowadays, people are compelled to confront all kinds of life pressure, as a result, jogging and doing sports have emerged as the choices to relieve the stress. Concidering these facters, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.

What about the future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will keep relatively stable during the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e bar chart clearly displays the percentages breakdown of the methods of physical exercise for citizens at a certain city. Exercising solely takes the lead at 54.3%, following by doing exercise with friends. Additionally, doing sports with family numbers and making a team to exercise are also concidered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

批改：你准确地抓住了图表中的核心数据，并清晰地呈现了排名，使用了“takes the lead”和“accounting for”等优秀表达，非常棒！

原文：percentages breakdow

批改：：“percentages breakdown” 中，“breakdown”是单数名词，前面不需要加“s”，应为 “percentage breakdown”。

原文：following b

批改：“following by” 应改为过去分词 “followed by”，表被动

原文：d making a team to exercise are also concidered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% re

批改：“making a team to exercise” 可以更简洁地表达为 “team activities”。“concidered” 拼写错误，应为 “considered”。

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the drive of the changes, our government has made trmendous efforts to build ample facilties and devices about sports, encouraging people to exercise and enjoying the healthy lifes. What is more, as the saying goes, "Pressure is part and parcel in the journey of lives". Nowadays, people are compelled to confront all kinds of life pressure, as a result, jogging and doing sports have emerged as the choices to relieve the stress. Concidering these facters, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.

批改：本段从政府支持和生活压力两个角度分析原因，思路清晰且切合实际。引用谚语“Pressure is part and parcel...”非常出彩，显示了你的语言积累。

原文： trmendous efforts to build ample facilties and devices about sports, encouraging people to exercise and enjoying the healthy lifes. What is more, as the saying goes, "Pressure is part and parcel in the journey of lives". Nowadays, people are compelled

批改：“trmendous” 应为 “tremendous”。“facilties” 应为 “facilities”。“devices about sports” 建议改为更地道的 “sports equipment” 或 “fitness devices”。“healthy lifes” 中，“life”的复数形式是 “lives”。“Concidering” 应为 “Considering”。“facters” 应为 “factors”。

原文： encouraging people to exercise

批改：“encouraging people to exercise and enjoying...” 中，“and”连接的两个并列成分形式应统一，都使用不定式 “to exercise and (to) enjoy...” 会更工整

原文：at about the future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will keep relatively stable during the following decades.

批改： 以问句开头引出预测，方式很自然。“serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era”（作为时代变迁的缩影）这个表达非常高级且有深度，是全文的亮点！

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12分

总评：

你的文章结构稳固，论证内容充实且富有见地，更难得的是展现了你优秀的语言潜力。主要的提升空间在于进一步提升语言细节的精准度。

修改建议

你已经有能力运用复杂的结构和高级的词汇，现在需要做的就是确保每个单词的拼写、每个介词的搭配都准确无误。建议把作文中订正过的词（如facilities, tremendous, consider等）建立一个自己的单词本，考前反复看，效果会非常好。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。