考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2014年考研英语二批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts changes in China"s urban and rural populations over the past 20 years. In 1990s,the number of urban population was 300 million,but by 2010s,this figure had substantially risen to 666 million.In contrast,the number of rural populations experienced slow decline of 160 million during the same period.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start one with, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view,the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s urbanization in responding to these changes.In addition,As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford houses that were previously deemed luxury items. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of urban population will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of rural populations will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: 1990s,the numbe
批改:语法错误:当指代某个十年期间时,应用"the 1990s"。但当特指某个年份时,不需要加"s"。这里指的是1990年和2010年这两个时间点,应改为 In 1990... but by 2010...。
原文:he number of rural
批改:the number of... population 是冗余表达,应直接使用 the urban population。 rural populations 在此语境下应用单数 rural population,表示作为一个整体概念的“乡村人口”。
原文:low decline of 160 mi
批改::decline 是可数名词,前面应有冠词 a。
原文: bar chart clearly depicts changes in China"s urban and rural populations over the past 20 years. In 1990s,the number of urban population was 300 million,but by 2010s,this figure had substantially risen to 666 million.In contrast,the number of rural populations experienced slow decline of 160 million during the same period.
批改:本段准确地概括了图表的核心信息,趋势描述清晰。问题主要在于语法细节,如年份的表述、冠词的使用和名词的单复数。
原文:rt one
批改:表达错误:固定短语是 To start with,one 是多余的。
原文:lowing them to afford h
批改:论证偏差:将人口迁移的原因归结为“买得起房子”,这个论点比较牵强且片面。城市化过程中的拉力是多方面的,如就业、教育、医疗等,住房通常是一个结果或挑战,而非核心驱动力。
原文:ore reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start one with, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view,the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s urbanization in responding to these changes.In addition,As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford houses that were previously deemed luxury items. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段试图提出两个论点,但论证的深度和有效性不足。第一个论点(城市化)存在循环逻辑,第二个论点(购房)则较为片面。论证需要更直接、更全面地解释人口迁移的驱动力。
原文:e number of rural populations
批改:语法错误:同上文,应改为 the urban population 和 the rural population。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10分
总体修改建议
深化论证,拒绝空谈:用具体、客观的驱动力(如经济机会、资源集中、政策引导)来替代空泛的“转型”和片面的“购房”等论点。
保持逻辑严谨:确保你的解释直接针对现象本身,避免循环论证。
追求简洁精确:持续优化表达,删除冗余词汇,并注意语法细节(如冠词、年份、名词单复数)。
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