考研英语一2024年大作文失分点批改

2024年考研英语一大作文是考研英语作文模板备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

Here are two pictures.As shown in the first cartoon, there are many people, having a sport in a park and one of them standing,with saying,“It is good to have a park around my house.” The line table clearly depicts the number of parks in last 3 years.②In 2020, the number/percentage of park was 406，but by 2022，this number increased to 670.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to ① build many parks, enabling people to have ample opportunitie to shape self-health. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, a good body is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the numbe of parks (is a clear sign of social improvement and) will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the numbet of parks will likely continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：having a sport in a park and one of them standing,with saying,“It is good to have a park aro

批改："having a sport" 表达不自然，建议改为 "exercising" 或 "doing sports"。 "one of them standing,with saying" 结构混乱，可优化为 "with one person saying"。 "line table" 搭配不当，柱状图应为 "bar chart"，线图是 "line chart"。 "in last 3 years" 应改为 "over the past 3 years"。

原文：/percentage of park was 406，but

批改："number/percentage" 应统一为 "number"（因为406和670是具体个数）。 "park" 应为复数 "parks"。

原文：e two pictures.As shown in the first cartoon, there are many people, having a sport in a park and one of them standing,with saying,“It is good to have a park around my house.” The line table clearly depicts the number of parks in last 3 years.②In 2020, the number/percentage of park was 406，but by 2022，this number increased to 670.

批改：你成功捕捉到了两幅图的核心信息

原文：onductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to ① build many parks, enabling people to have ample opportunitie to shape self-health. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, a good body is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsurprising.

批改：你从政府政策支持和青年健康意识两个角度分析原因，逻辑框架清晰，特别是"conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes"这个比喻很有创意。

原文：opportunitie to shape self-health. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe th

批改："opportunitie" 拼写错误，应为 "opportunities"。 "shape self-health" 表达不自然，建议改为 "improve their health" 或 "engage in physical fitness"。 "chances" 在正式写作中建议改为 "opportunities"

原文：about future trends? I am confident that the numbe of parks (is a clear sign of social improvement and) will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the numbet of parks will likely continue to decrease.

批改：你对未来趋势做出了预测

原文： numbe of parks

批改："numbe" 和 "numbet" 拼写错误，均应为 "number"

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评：

你的作文能够理解图表信息并搭建起基本的结构框架，同时展现出使用高级词汇的意愿，这是很好的基础。当前影响得分的主要问题集中基础拼写错误、

修改建议

你的作文已经有了清晰的骨架。当前最有效的提升方法是：第一，建立"个人高频错词本"，重点记忆"government"、"opportunity"、"number"等常用词的拼写；第二，熟悉"bar chart"（柱状图）和"line chart"（线图）等基本图表类型的英文表达；第三，在写完作文后，请务必检查结尾段是否与前文数据趋势一致，避免出现自相矛盾的预测。坚持这样做，你的进步会非常快！

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