考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

2016年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father holding a smoke and saying "my son, hard study." His gaze remains fixed straight ahead at the television screen; the son has a face full of sadness. The right-hand cartoon both father and son are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative examples are shackles that hinder their progress.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are paticularly significant . First and foremost, this behavior may be hard to balance mentally; at the same time, not only is persuasion not enough but raising painful studying as a problem. Attention is drawn to other places where one can study well. If parents build a good example and are not addicted to digital products, children will delight in and positively concentrate on studying. Family atmosphere will be happier. Studying can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being virtuous.

In brief ,positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development ,form which they all stand to benefit.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：holding a smoke

批改：改为 “holding a cigarette”（“香烟” 正式表达，“smoke” 为不可数名词）

原文：The right-hand cartoon

批改：In the right cartoon,

原文： paticularly

批改：“particularly”

原文：raising painful studying as a problem

批改：改为 “feel resentful and distracted”（“感到抵触并分心”，原表达语义不通）

原文：form which

批改：改为 “from which”

原文：build a good example

批改：改为 “set a good example”（“树立榜样” 固定搭配）

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father holding a smoke and saying "my son, hard study." His gaze remains fixed straight ahead at the television screen; the son has a face full of sadness. The right-hand cartoon both father and son are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative examples are shackles that hinder their progress.

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are paticularly significant . First and foremost, this behavior may be hard to balance mentally; at the same time, not only is persuasion not enough but raising painful studying as a problem. Attention is drawn to other places where one can study well. If parents build a good example and are not addicted to digital products, children will delight in and positively concentrate on studying. Family atmosphere will be happier. Studying can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being virtuous.

批改：提出了自己的观点，使用了一些表示逻辑关系的词，条理较为清晰

原文：In brief ,positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development ,form which they all stand to benefit.

批改：总结全文，结构内容完整

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16

原文紧扣 “父母榜样对孩子的影响” 核心主题，通过对比两幅漫画搭建了议论文框架，符合考研英语漫画作文的基本要求。但存在以下问题：语法 / 拼写错误频发（如 “paticularly”“form which”“build a good example”），加强单词的背诵，写完再整体检查一遍，希望继续努力，加油！

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