对于考研英语一而言,2016年大作文常以图画形式呈现。本文精解的这篇图画批改范例,启航教育老师逐句解读图画细节、寓意提炼与评论展开三步走,是考研英语作文话题图画作文的经典教学样本。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand, there is a man having a rest and asking his son to study. On the contrary, In the right-hand, there is a man studying with his son. Evidently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that showing is better than asking.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, teaching children by actions brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers" desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others. On the other hand, only asking is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, teaching children by actions is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of neglecting actions to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: the left-hand, there is a man having a rest and asking his son to study. On the contrary, In the right-hand, there is a man studying with his son. Evidently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that showing is better than asking.
批改: 你对图画的描述非常简洁、精准,直击要害。结尾用一句地道的谚语“showing is better than asking”点明主旨,非常有力。
原文:e right-hand,
批改:第二个“In the right-hand”首字母“I”不需要大写。
原文:is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, teaching children by actions brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers" desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others. On the other hand, only asking is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改: 本段从正反两方面论证,结构清晰。反面论证部分用“heavy chain”作比,并指出“剥夺独立思考能力”的后果,论证非常深刻,是很大的亮点。
原文:rief, teaching children by actions is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of neglecting actions to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改: 结尾段总结有力,再次强调了“身教”的催化剂作用,并从提倡和警惕两个角度提出建议,很好地收束了全文。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分
总体评分与建议
你的文章不仅结构工整,更重要的是在论证中展现了思维的深度。具体来看:
内容要点:完整覆盖了描述、寓意阐释和个人评论,立意准确深刻。
语言运用:能熟练使用“catalyst", "detrimental", "depriving"等高级词汇和复杂句式,语言质量较高。
连贯与衔接:文章结构层次清晰,使用了经典衔接手段,逻辑流畅。
修改建议
你的逻辑思辨能力和词汇运用能力都有了明显的提升。如果要让文章更趋完美,我们可以专注于一点:
确保论证焦点始终紧扣核心。在展开论点时,可以时刻问自己:“我这句话是否在直接解释我的主题?”比如,将论证的焦点从“青少年的欲望”转移到“模仿天性”或“榜样的直观性”上,会使全文的论证链条更加统一和有力。
考研英语作文话题写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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