考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

2016年考研英语一大作文的评分标准严格，对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例，全程贯彻考研英语一真题写作锦囊的核心要点，可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is afather smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.on the contrary,in theright-hand portrayal the father and son are devoted to their studies. Enidertly, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that postive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative examples are the shackle the hinders their progress.

This phenomenon is though-provking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can nurture childrens souls and promote childrens growth and self-fulfllment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being sefle-coneuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like heavy chains that hinder cildren"s progress leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in futuresociety.

In bref, positive examples, are the catalyst for children"s development, from whrch they all stand to benefre. There foe, we should actively support and advocate this practice; Only by doing so can develop childrens potentional. make their world shine with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is afather smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.on the contrary,in theright-hand portrayal the father and son are devoted to their studies. Enidertly, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that postive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative examples are the shackle the hinders their progress.

批改：你对两幅图画的对比描述非常精准、到位，直击要害。结尾的总结句尤其精彩，比喻用得非常贴切、有力。

原文：afather smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.on the contrary,in theright-ha

批改：“afather” 应分开为 “a father”。“in theright-hand” 应为 “in the right-hand”。“Enidertly” 拼写错误，应为 “Evidently”。“postive” 应为 “positive”。

原文：the shackle the

批改：“the shackle the hinders” 中，第二个 “the” 应为关系代词 “that”。“on the contrary” 首字母应大写，且其前面的句号使用不当，应与前句用逗号连接。

原文：s phenomenon is though-provking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can nurture childrens souls and promote childrens growth and self-fulfllment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being sefle-coneuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like heavy chains that hinder cildren"s progress leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in futuresociety.

批改：本段从正反两方面论证，结构清晰。“heavy chains”的比喻非常生动，后续的论述也很有力。

原文：though-provking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can nurture childrens souls and promote childrens growth and self-fulfllment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being sefle-coneuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like heavy chains that hinder cildren"s progress leaving

批改：词汇与拼写：“though-provking” 应为 “thought-provoking”。“childrens” 是所有格形式错误，应为 “children’s”。“self-fulfllment” 应为 “self-fulfillment”。“sefle-coneuming” 拼写错误，应为 “self-consuming”。“cildren"s” 应为 “children’s”。“futuresociety” 应分开为 “future society”。

原文：f, positive examples, are the catalyst for children"s development, from whrch they all stand to benefre. There foe, we should actively support and advocate this practice; Only by doing so can develop childrens potentional. make their world shine with renewed brilliance.

批改：结尾段总结有力，并使用了“catalyst”等高级词汇。

原文： bref, positive examples, are the catalyst for children"s development, from whrch they all stand to benefr

批改：“bref” 应为 “brief”。“whrch” 应为 “which”。“benefre” 应为 “benefit”。“There foe” 应为 “Therefore”。“potentional” 应为 “potential”。

原文：ctice; Only by

批改：“Only by doing so can develop childrens potentional.” 这个句子缺少主语，应改为 “Only by doing so can we help children develop their potential.”。“make their world...” 是一个句子片段，可以将其与前面用 “and” 连接。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评：

你的文章具备了清晰的结构、准确的立意和出彩的亮点句，这为你冲击高分奠定了坚实的基础。主要的提升空间在于彻底消除文中的拼写错误，并确保语法结构的严谨性。

修改建议

完成最后的“检查”步骤。 文中的许多错误（如positive, children"s, Therefore等）都是常见词的拼写和语法问题。如果能在完稿后花两分钟快速通读一遍，完全可以避免。

启航教育坚持『专业·敬业·服务好』的理念，深耕考研英语教研多年。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文仅是冰山一角，更多考研英语一真题高分资料与免费批改服务，期待与每一位2027考研人在在线咨询中相遇。