考研英语一2013年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2013年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, a group of college graduates facing four paths, applying for a job, further studying, going abroad and building a career. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to the reader that it is choosing a feasible road that plays a dignified and positive role in our personal lives and in society.

this phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.on the one hand ,different choices may influence the future developing tendency.likely,people who go abroad face risks and opportunities,not as harmonious and stable as china,life safety is always threatened,entrepreneurs need solid professional knowledge,and need to give priority to the economic development situation,minimize risks;if successful,will have a certain leading role in future social development.people who take the postgraduate entrance examination have fewer work experiences than those who are seeking jobs,but they have enhanced their academic qualifications,different choices entail advantages and disadvantages ,so the key lies in staying true to one"s original aspirations and persevering .on the other hand,blindingly following others will hinder our progress,depriving them of the ability to think independently .

In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改：加are

原文：applying

批改：前加including包括

原文：building a career

批改：starting up business

原文：As shown in the cartoon, a group of college graduates facing four paths, applying for a job, further studying, going abroad and building a career. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to the reader that it is choosing a feasible road that plays a dignified and positive role in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：this

批改：开头单词首字母大写

原文：on

批改：首字母大写

原文：china

批改：in China，国家名首字母大写

原文：,

批改：句号断句

原文：entrepreneurs

批改：大写

原文：will

批改：前缺少主语

原文：people

批改：大写

原文：experiences

批改：经验不可数

原文：,

批改：句号

原文：different

批改：大写

原文：on

批改：大写

原文：them

批改：人称和前面的our保持一致，改成us

原文：two of them are particularly significant.on the one hand ,different choices may influence the future developing tendency.likely,people who go abroad face risks and opportunities,not as harmonious and stable as china,life safety is always threatened,entrepreneurs need solid professional knowledge,and need to give priority to the economic development situation,minimize risks;if successful,will have a certain leading role in future social development.people who take the postgraduate entrance examination have fewer work experiences than those who are seeking jobs,but they have enhanced their academic qualifications,different choices entail advantages and disadvantages ,so the key lies in staying true to one"s original aspirations and persevering .on the other hand,blindingly following others will hinder our progress,depriving them of the ability to think independently

批改：论述的内容较为全面，运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。注意避免小的语言问题。

原文：In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，国家名首字母大写；句式方面，注意句子结构完整，还有正确使用标点断句以及开头单词首字母大写；逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好，另外字数超出作文限制，不建议超出太多，否则超的越多错的也越多。继续加油。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2013年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文真题冲刺保驾护航。