启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2011年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语一写作冲刺备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are two people, sitting on the boat and throwing rubbish into the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that deliberate littering is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but also two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, preserving the environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health and shaping national moralities, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of enjoying themselves., have disregarded the virtue of environmental protecting.
How can we address the problem of deliberate littering? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are two people, sitting on the boat and throwing rubbish into the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that deliberate littering is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:描绘了漫画内容,可以再补充下对后果的描述,比如补充一句“导致河面上漂满了垃圾”,这样会更完整;立意符合题意
原文:also
批改:多余,应删除
原文:standards
批改:和前面regulations重复了,应删除
原文:, its
批改:句号+大写
批改:应删除
原文:protecting
批改:protection
原文:is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but also two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, preserving the environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health and shaping national moralities, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of enjoying themselves., have disregarded the virtue of environmental protecting.
批改:从国家层面和个人个人两方面分析了乱扔垃圾现象普遍的原因,注意个别语法问题和标点问题
原文:How can we address the problem of deliberate littering? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:针对乱扔垃圾的现象提出解决方案,表达通顺
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
题目要求:对漫画的描绘可以再全面一些;个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文借鉴了较多的模板句,改得比较切题,但也有个别语法、拼写和标点错误,需要注意下;
行文逻辑:第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点,第二段给出详细分析,第三段提出解决方案,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;优化第一段内容;继续多多积累经典句式;提高拼写的准确性;
这篇完成得比较好,继续加油~
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