考研英语一2010年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2010年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目

考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a hot pot filled with many excellent cultural factors,such as Laoshe,Ren, Dao and so on.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is diverse excellent cultures that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in reveal ways,but two of them are profoundly significant.First and foremost,although certain excellent cultures may be outdated,the spirits of optimism form cultures is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps people thriving.What"s more,diverse excellent cultures can ignite our creativity,and promote personal growrh and self-fullfillment,thus making our life meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.

In brief,the diverse excellent cultures are the catalysts for societal and personal development,which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and promote them.Only by doing so,can we make our world shines with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：so on

批改：建议把莎士比亚，爱因斯坦加入进去，本篇强调文化融合

原文： factors

批改：改为elements，factors指一个因素对另一种情况，事情的影响

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there is a hot pot filled with many excellent cultural factors,such as Laoshe,Ren, Dao and so on.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is diverse excellent cultures that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：较准确概括了漫画内容

原文：reveal

批改：several

原文：lthough certain excellent cultures may be outdated,

批改：这句逻辑不对，优秀文化又过时很矛盾

原文：spirits of optimism form cultures

批改：直接改为主题词cultural integration

原文：diverse excellent cultures

批改：cultural integration

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in reveal ways,but two of them are profoundly significant.First and foremost,although certain excellent cultures may be outdated,the spirits of optimism form cultures is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps people thriving.What"s more,diverse excellent cultures can ignite our creativity,and promote personal growrh and self-fullfillment,thus making our life meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.

批改：这段要展开篇幅，不然字数不够

原文：he diverse excellent cultures are

批改：cultural integration is

原文：catalysts

批改：单数

原文：which

批改：from which

原文：them

批改：cultural integration

原文： shines

批改：make sb do, 用原型

原文：In brief,the diverse excellent cultures are the catalysts for societal and personal development,which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and promote them.Only by doing so,can we make our world shines with renewed brilliance

批改：概括内容，升华主题

原文：diverse excellent cultures

批改：cultural integration 更好，切合主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20分。

1. 题目要求：作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明，但字数147明显不够，要把第二段展开，充分论述观点；

2. 语言表达：运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，让步状语从句和倒装型很棒，注意拼写，主谓一致和常用搭配错误；

3. 行文逻辑：采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯；

4. 改进建议：要进一步吃透老师的模板，灵活运用在各类题目中，进一步丰富自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

本文精解的2010年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。