距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年,写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2011年考研英语一批改范例,紧扣考研英语一真题写作锦囊要点,全文结构严谨、表达地道,适合所有2027考生。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As show in the picture, there are two visitors, sitting on the boat, enjoying the Scenery and throwing garbage into the river, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that roquires that great attention both in our persoral lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in Several ways, but two of them are particulary Significant. first and foremost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribate to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of elonomic interests, have disregarded,in the significant about protecting environment. What"s more, neglecting protect enviroment is like a heavy chain, not only higdering its ability to mointain healthy and rapid growth. but also significantly affecting its international image.
How can we put an end to the problem of environmentpollution? It is suggested by many that we ee a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhagcing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strength self-discipline with the support of these measures we can effectively tackle the issue at its core
.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:roquires
批改:requires
原文:that
批改:删除
原文:persoral
批改:personal
原文:As show in the picture, there are two visitors, sitting on the boat, enjoying the Scenery and throwing garbage into the river, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that roquires that great attention both in our persoral lives and in society.
批改:描述漫画内容,揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理,清晰直观。
原文:show
批改:shown 这里要用过去分词形式,固定句式结构
原文:Several
批改:首字母小写
原文:Significant
批改:首字母小写
原文:first
批改:首字母大写
原文:contribate
批改:contribute
原文:elonomic
批改:economic
原文:significant
批改:significance
原文:,in
批改:删除。此处不需要介词in
原文:protect
批改:protection of 此处要用名词形式
原文:enviroment
批改:environment
原文:higdering
批改:hindering
原文:mointain
批改:maintain
批改:改为逗号
原文:his phenomenon is thought-provoking in Several ways, but two of them are particulary Significant. first and foremost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribate to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of elonomic interests, have disregarded,in the significant about protecting environment. What"s more, neglecting protect enviroment is like a heavy chain, not only higdering its ability to mointain healthy and rapid growth. but also significantly affecting its international image.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因及危害性,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:environmentpollution
批改:注意单词空格
原文:ee
批改:前面要补充动词,propose 表示提出
原文:enhagcing
批改:enhancing
原文:strength
批改:strengthen 表示动词,加强
原文:we also need to strength self-discipline
批改:注意断句,后面补充句号
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environmentpollution? It is suggested by many that we ee a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhagcing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strength self-discipline with the support of these measures we can effectively tackle the issue at its core
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/20
作文对漫画的理解到位,写作思路紧扣主题,有些短语句式的表达也不错,基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图,但在以下几方面还需注意:
1.语法:个别句子从汉语角度看意思通顺,仔细分析其实句子成分不完整,不符合英语表达方式。
2.细节:作文中有几处比较明显的拼写错误。考试时可以多积累高级词汇,写作文就能用上,但尤其注意单词拼写不要出现明显错误,特别是与主题词相关的单词要重点留意。
3.内容:这幅漫画中细节比较多,但最核心的内容比较明确,那就是旅游过程中游客的不恰当行为造成环境污染。该图显示水面上有一艘观光船,两个游客随手乱扔垃圾,水面上漂浮着各种各样的废弃物。很多考生拿到试卷后的第一反应就是写如何保护环境,再细心一点的考生就写成如何保护景区环境。可是,这幅图不仅要强调被破坏的环境,还要强调造成这种环境污染的缘由——游客甚至是人类的不恰当行为。这样表达文章意思才全面。
整体来看,作文理解了漫画内涵,段落框架明确,大体上与题目要求保持一致,但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处,基本是由汉语思维习惯而造成的表达错误,主要体现在词汇使用和搭配不当,句子成分缺失混乱,同时也有一些时态和前后一致等细节问题,后续继续注重练习,加油!
透过这篇2011年考研英语一批改范文,相信你对考研英语一真题的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改,从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点,欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。
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