考研英语一2011年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

正在备考考研英语的你，是否还在为2011年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁？本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文，系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评，你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists,sitting in a boat, enjoying the beantiful scenery and throwing rubbish into the water, which polluting the river. Evidently,the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is environmental pollution that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

The is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.Finst and foremost, pollute the enviroment can damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.

What is more,environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,inclding developing good habits and enhancing supervision.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists,sitting in a boat, enjoying the beantiful scenery and throwing rubbish into the water, which polluting the river.

批改：存在多处错误。“two tourists,sitting”中逗号多余；“beantiful”拼写错误，应为“beautiful”；“which polluting the river”存在语法错误，应是“which is polluting the river” ，此句对漫画描述不准确且语言错误多。

原文：Evidently,the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is environmental pollution that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：逻辑错误，漫画想传达的应是环境污染的负面影响，而非积极作用，“important and positive role”表述与意图相悖。

原文：The is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.

批改：“The”后面缺少名词，句子成分残缺，表意不完整。

原文：Finst and foremost, pollute the enviroment can damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.

批改：“Finst”拼写错误，应为“First”；“pollute the enviroment”存在语法错误，应是“polluting the environment”，此句语法和拼写错误影响理解。

原文：What is more,environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.

批改：句子整体表意较清晰，阐述了环境污染对国家发展的阻碍，但“healthy and rapid growth”表述稍显简单，可更丰富。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution?

批改：此句为疑问句，自然地引出下文解决措施，表意明确，结构合理。

原文： It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,inclding developing good habits and enhancing supervision.

批改：“inclding”拼写错误，应为“including”，此句提出解决措施但存在拼写错误。

原文：But would these measures be comprehensive enough?

批改：进一步提出疑问，引发思考，表意清晰，结构合理。

原文：In reality,we also need to strengthen self-discipline.

批改：提出补充措施，表意明确，与前文衔接自然。

原文：With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：总结解决措施的作用，表意清晰，逻辑合理。

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists,sitting in a boat, enjoying the beantiful scenery and throwing rubbish into the water, which polluting the river. Evidently,the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is environmental pollution that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society

批改：对漫画描述不准确且存在大量语言错误，未能清晰呈现漫画内容，同时对漫画意图理解错误，严重影响文章质量。

原文：The is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.Finst and foremost, pollute the enviroment can damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations

批改：句子存在成分残缺、拼写和语法错误等问题，导致段落表意混乱，无法有效阐述环境污染的影响。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,inclding developing good habits and enhancing supervision.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core

批改：整体逻辑较清晰，先提出问题，接着提出解决措施并进一步思考补充措施，最后说明措施的作用，但存在拼写错误。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/20

题目要求：对漫画意图的理解严重错误。漫画意在批判游客乱扔垃圾造成环境污染的行为，强调环境污染的危害，而作文却写成“it is environmental pollution that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society”，与漫画意图背道而驰，没有正确“explain its intended meaning”。

语言表达：存在多处拼写错误，如“beantiful”“Finst”“inclding”“enviroment”等，这些错误严重影响了句子的准确性和可读性。语法错误较多，例如“which polluting the river”存在主谓不一致问题，应是“which is polluting the river”；“pollute the enviroment”中动词形式使用错误，应是“polluting the environment”；“The is thought - provoking”句子成分残缺，缺少名词。这些语法错误导致句子结构混乱，表意不清。

内容层面：内容完整性不足。在描述漫画时没有完整呈现关键信息；解释意图时出现错误，导致后续评论方向偏差；提出的解决措施虽然有一定合理性，但由于前期基础错误，没有很好地与漫画主题紧密结合，整体内容存在较多漏洞和不合理之处。

修改建议：仔细审题，准确理解漫画所传达的信息和意图。在写作前，可以先对漫画进行仔细观察和分析，明确主题和关键信息，确保文章方向正确。加强英语基础知识的学习，包括拼写、语法和词汇。加油！

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